If you’re like me, and don’t want to sift through 8 bajillion news stories to see the boner-inspiring footage from E3, then this post should help you reach maximum stiffness with minimal effort.
- Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess – Showcasing the Wii version of the game, and how the controller works with it. And uh… the depth of sound idea that they reveal with the controller is actually, I hate to say this, a good fucking idea. Not to mention the tingle of excitement in my loins when the Zelda chime kicked in.
The game looks amazing, and I’m very very sad that I really really want to shoot a bow and arrow with that stupid looking controller. Especially since I’ll say “Wiiiii!” every time I draw the bow back.
Oh, and here’s the trailer.
- Super Mario Galaxy – Um… so yeah, I guess I’m buying a Wii. Fuck!
- Spore – Bongweasel clued me into this game a lonnnnng time ago, and he hasn’t really shut up about it since. Every time I see a trailer like this, I realize why.
- Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots – Snake? Snake? SNAAAAAAAAKE!!! *bang*
- Halo 3 – And now I have to get a 360. My poor wallet.
- Heavenly Sword – OK, maybe the PS3 will be worthwhile after all.
…After the second or third price drop.
- Metroid Prime 3 – I got bored with the first two, but actually pointing and shooting with the controller sounds like fun.
…or it’ll really fucking hurt after awhile. We’ll see.
- Final Fantasy XIII – A bit of a modification to the battle system, but the cutscenes are straight up Square-porn. I also appreciate the fact that they’ve given in and made the main character a chick, and not in some girl-power intensive shit like X-2. After all, they’ve been making us play as effeminate characters for the last decade, may as well go whole hog and give him tits and a pussy to match the emo attitude and primped hair.
Alright, the list is getting long. I’ll keep adding them as they come along.
Thus far I’ve barely seen anything worth grabbing some Kleenex® over from the PS3 front. I know it’s still really early in the game for them, but it’s still really early in the game for Nintendo as well, and look at what they’re showing off. Even Mario fucking Hoops looked kinda fun, which really hurts me to say.
e3All those games, apart from maybe MGS4, look like cartoony bullshit. Gamecube sucks and so does Wii. What are they thinking?
Um…they’re giving people like me, who don’t smoke their high amounts of expendable income on pot, exactly what they want. …alright, maybe a little pot, but fuck you. If the game plays like butter, I don’t care how goddamned cartoony it looks.
SystemsSo Twilight Princess is for Wii and Gamecube? Or just Wii?
wiicubeIt’s supposed to be both.
i was worried for a bitI tried to keep the faith with nintendo through all the early revolution stuff that came out, but i had to admit I doubted them a bit. Needless to say i’m loving all this new shit coming out about the wii and am feeling just a bit guilty for ever doubting them.
AyeIt fucking sucks that they’ve shoved so much gayness down our throats only to have it turn out to be gold. Gay gold, but gold nonetheless.
Forget that crapAm I the only one who absolutely hates the concept behind the Wii Controller? After working all day I want to play a game and relax, not have to flail my arms around like a jackass to work the controller.
wii controllerI don’t really think you have to flail your arms around to get the controller to work. I think the movements in the videos are exaggerated to prove the point. I’m pretty sure that smaller and more controlled movements will suffice. I like the idea of the speaker in the controller and the ability to aim with it. I’ll reserve judgement until after I get my hands on one.
Allow me to retortListen to yourselves! \”Gay gold\”? \”Gay\” gold is gold that is in fact still gay..err somethin. Point is, if it looks all cartoony than why bother playing it in the first place, despite how fantastic it plays?I guess I just like more realistic games. You’d think a stoner like me would like all the pretty colors wouldn’t ya?That controller still looks stupid to me. Is this shit multiplayer? Does everyone have to have two weird ass controllers? How many cords is that? I hate cords! Between one tiny ass controller and one japanese-overcompensating-phallic-symbol, something is bound to get lost or broken or spilled upon. I’m getting a tumour just thinking about it.