DotComs I Wish Were As Dead As Sonny Bono

Do you mean to tell me that after nearly half a fucking decade of constant self-whoring, these two buttfucking faggots are still online? I say buttfucking faggots with no shame either, as I have complete tolerance for actual gay folk. I reserve the word faggot with the kind of third grade excellence for which it was intended. Faggots faggots faggots faggots faggots, I say. I first brought them to your interweb doorstep four years ago, and they’re still trying to get people to fund their college education. Ridiculous. If I’m helping to fund their quest for higher learning (which I’m not), they better Doogie Howser the shit out of that school and produce a Masters by their third year. You’re twelve months behind, you cocksuckers. Not to mention the fact that you’ve learned nothing in college, or so it would seem based upon your lackluster “tips” section for underfunded youths. Here’s a big tip from someone who didn’t whore himself out for a degree: fuck chicks with a trust fund, they’ll buy your beer. See, already I’m way ahead of your shitty list, and I’m only at one (admittedly long) paragraph!

I love rehashing pre-dotcom-crash stuff like this. It’s exceptionally depressing, and oddly liberating all at the same time. Especially when you’ve got a little drink in ya.