Did They Finish, At Least?

I hope so, because neither one seems like they’re ever going to finish again, after a guy killed his girlfriend and turned himself into an 32-year-old manchild after a car-fuck that drove them straight into a tractor. Now the poor dumbstruck bastard has to spend the next ten years of his life (according to his estimated mental age, that would be puberty) in prison.

Lesson learned, kiddies. If you’re going to screw in a car, do it sober. It’s hard enough compensating with your knees for the hand that’s smacking her ass and the other that’s pulling her hair while a naked chick obfuscates your view of the road. You’re going to need every synapse firing in such a situation, don’t count on luck to pull you through. Personally I like to think of luck as a bank, when you get a chick who likes to get down in a moving vehicle, I figure you’re already overdrawn. Now is not the time to bounce a check, as they might decide to close your account.