OK, so I guess that Ashlee Simpson was going to do some sort of lesbian scene in this movie Wannabe, but her pappy caught wind and decided to 86 the homosexuality. Now, I can understand that the former Baptist minister father doesn’t want his little girl to go around lockin’ lips with other women. But there’s far more to his idiocy than his appetite for depriving us of wanking material. Dig:
The singer-turned-actress was due to star as a gay character in the romantic comedy Wannabe but her unimpressed manager-father Joe Simpson ordered a change in the scripts.
“I changed it. It doesn’t work for her to be gay the first thing out,” Joe told the New York Post. “She said, ‘But it’s cool, it’s edgy, it’s different,’ and of course the filmmakers were like, ‘It’s cool for a woman to be a lesbian.'”
Now comes the hilarity. Are you ready for it?
He added: “She’s going to be a huge movie star. She’s like Meg Ryan or Cameron Diaz, with probably more depth. When we’re done, she’ll play it all.”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!
Oh lord, that man should do fucking stand-up. That kind of delusion would make an amazing stage act. Bolt had this to say about daddy Simpson’s comments:
“saying she has more depth that meg ryan or cameron diaz is like saying my tub has more depth than the toilet.”
Seriously. The fact that you can compare her range to a couple of Hollywood’s worst actresses and still come out wrong is hilarious. Why even argue that your shit sandwich is more delicious than my shit sandwich? We’re both eating shit!
depthI don’t know what kind of weird tub you have, but mine actually is a lot deeper than the toilet.
nice rackShe’s got bigger and better tits than britney’s 🙂
doh !Hit submit too soon…I was going to say and not as dumb (hopefully) as her sister… So I’d bang ‘er.
the hell?Ashlee simpson is the dumbest cunt around. Just following on the coat tails of her sister. What a loser.
eh, why not…she has acted like a singer so far, so why not act in movies?
shitHaha you called yourself a shit-eater.
I’m a lesbian.Fuck-all if I wouldn’t dyke out with her.
Cameron Diaz and Meg RyanActually, Cameron Diaz was pretty good in \”Being John Malkovich\”, \”Vanilla Sky\”, and \”Gangs of New York\”. Granted, she wasn’t the lead in any of those films, and she’s made some truly awful movies in the past (and present). However, she has delivered fairly memorable performances before. But Meg Ryan and Ashlee Simpsons . . . No . . .
evilI think Joe Simpson is the most evil man in America. The reason he’s not a Baptist minister anymore is because he sold his soul to the devil.
AshleeI am proud to say that I would bang the shit out of Ashlee and she’s much hotter than her rubber-faced older sister.
HmmmDidn’t Keanu Reeves start out as a gay character – he seems to be doing alright and what about Peter North ? He started in gay porn I hear, and he’s banging every hot things that moves now.So suck it Joe Simpson !
SadWe all know that Ashlee and her hot cohorts are contrived money-making machines. But the sad thing, is that that gets me off. Ashlee is so real. SO REAL. She represents what women are: tools. Tools for sex and money. We already understand and know here. There’s no need to try and figure her out. She’s just too real.
what your missingWhy are you all laughing? If Hollywood has taught us anything, it’s that these ridiculous statements are probably absolutely true. People are becoming movie stars just because. That’s the in-thing to do now. Look at Paris Hilton.