Category: Rants

I’m rich beoch!

*NOTE: I tried posting this to the main page but it didn’t work so hopefully some of you will see it here*

Those oh so wonderful people over at Guinness are trying to make this Holiday an official one. I don’t know about you, but I’m all for having another holiday off. Especially one where the official way to celebrate is to drink massive amounts of beer. You can access the petition Here

Do me a favor though, don’t click on the sweepstakes button, I’d like that keg-o-rator or a sign from my favorite beer brewery.I can think of several bartenders at local bars I visit that need to read this whole fucking page about 20 times until it sinks into their thick skulls that if they don’t pour my damn beer right I’m going to keep sending it back till they learn. It’ll never happen though. I’m just not that lucky.

So like many other americans I accidentally stumbled onto Bush’s speech. I had turned on Fox, watched for about 20 seconds before thinking to myself.

WTF? is he Lipsinking? No George no bad move. People will jump your ass for this.

Nope I flipped to NBC and it turns out it was just Fox’s shitty sound was off sync.

All politics aside I think it was a good speech albeit longwinded but I’m sure they had a bunch of speech writer’s all huddled up and examining everyword to make sure it was intelligent and PC.

Just once I’d love to hear a politician speak his mind. You’d never hear George make a statement to Saddam of “Do it or I’ll fucking spank you.”

Actually I’d settle for hearing one of the politicians I work with, tell me something without that feeling of a knife blade slipping between my ribs.

I believe something needs to be done, but I don’t have the attention span to keep myself informed enough to make a statement. “Ignorance is bliss” That doesn’t stop everyone else though does it!!! So here’s what I think should be done.

Oh look Adult Swim is on…

*runs away*

Fuck…
This place is dead.
I think one of Sharkey’s Malthion X canisters must’ve leaked. I told him not to store that shit back here in rants.
*kicks Perry’s corpse over*
Oh well no big loss. More room for me and my ego…err desk.

So when I get on my work computer this morning, I’m greeted by my personalized Yahoo page. At the top is the “lead photo”. In it is a picture of 5 men, and the story saying FBI Alert for 5 Men Reportedly Based on Hoax. I thought I recognized something, so I clicked on the story.

The man on the top right is the same man as mentioned in this story. I know there’s no picture there now, but trust me.

Now what gets me is, there’s NO mention of this mistake in the lead story today. None. Just that the photos are a hoax. I’m no bleeding heart, but I’ve got to agree with a quote out of the second story… “The American government and the FBI should apologize to him.” And we should. Because that’s what we tell our children to do on the playground when they make a mistake and accidentally knock another kid down. But you think an apology is beneath us when we accidentally plaster an innocent man’s face across the world? I’ll never understand right-wing idiots (not that the left is much better).

Word, y’all. I ain’t dead. I know, it hurts you to find that out. But hey, at least I know how to close my blockquote tag, and that’s why they keep me around here.

On to happier things, ain’t it a bitch when you’re just minding your own business and get served with lawsuit papers? Yes, I’ve joined the ranks of executives, publicists, and everyone living in the state of California: I’ve been sued. In reality, it’s one of those things where you get into a 4-car accident, and you’ve got a year to sue. Now the fact that the person suing wasn’t hurt much on the scene and is in fact– how do I put this delicately– an African-American female of limited means, whereas I’m a guy driving an expensive car with a 1mil insurance rider; that has nothing at all to do with the fact that I’m being sued.

And onto another subject,
*whiney voice*
But Orion, my import with its computer-changed timing, cans of nitro, and ripped out seats can beat your Mustang!
Oh wait, if I had a real car to begin with, I wouldn’t need to do that shit.

So I go to the movies on Christmas day. Some asshat in a Chevy truck thought that he could take me.

Here’s a pop quiz: Chevy truck vs. Orion’s Mustang?

If you can’t guess the answer then you probably have wasted your money on a Chevy or an import.

Alright Tink and I are discussing where we’re going to eat dinner in LA on Monday when I go up there for the IMAX showing of Attack Of The Clones (with all the crap editted out thank God). His vote is Mongorian Hut, and mine is Pink’s. My logic is that they have Mongorian places around here, but Pink’s is LA-Only. So then the discussion is…

Breaker1258: Sides, need to get monfuckingolian and see someIMAX-sized yoda ass whoopins
ORI0N37: fuck that – P i N k s!!
Breaker1258: I dont eat shit, remember?
ORI0N37: yeah you do, don’t lie
Breaker1258: You would be confusing me with bitch cakes again
ORI0N37: oh yeah, you eat bitch cakes not shit
Breaker1258: (sigh* You are making my brain hurt. Hot dogs blow ass
ORI0N37: then they are right up your alley, then, ass blower
Breaker1258: Breaker1258 = Tink
IBlow@$$ = Little Bitch

You are confused, sir.
ORI0N37: LOL
ORI0N37: LMAO
ORI0N37: i’m still laughing

Gosh I wonder if anyone actually has that AIM name?

Around here (Louisiana) people tend to have one of three attitudes towards left and right blinkers.

1. Fuck ’em. Let the other poor hapless bastards have to do a Vulcan mind meld with me to figure out what the fuck I’m going to do.
2. I’ll put my blinker on when I turn my wheel, as though the blinker is a part of the turning procedure, and not a request to get over. I will stop in the middle of the road to turn or change lanes, but because I don’t put my blinker on until I’m halfway through the turn, no one knows what the fuck I’m doing.
3. My blinker is a warning to everyone else on the road… I think that just because my blinker is on, that I’m ENTITLED to change lanes, and will honk my horn at you and become upset when you blow your horn at me or slam into me because I was a fuckwad

I fucking HATE stupid people.

Well for Thanksgiving I went first to Merced (close to Fresno) to see my father, and then to Vallejo (just north of San Francisco) to see my sister and my adorable neice (who is three now I think…) the day after Thanksgiving. My brother and I drove home Saturday. It was about 7 hours of driving each day (3 1/2 each way from dad’s to sis’s because of the slow ass van we drove to bring my neice some furniture) we drove, which was 3 out of the 4 days of our “vacation.”

OK enough of the boring stuff. We drove past a federal prison on the way to my sister’s house. Who cares, right? I didn’t, either, until about 3 exits past the sign for the prison was Shanks Road and I thought it was sort of amusing at the time….

In the near future, I’ll post in gaming about Neocron, but for now it’s my latest addiction. It’s what we’ve been hoping for and wanting for a few years now: it’s a FPS combined with a MMORPG. That’s right, it’s like Everquest with guns. No, it’s not another shitty Anarchy Online. When you have a gun, and you aim (yes you aim, not just your fuckwad character) and pull the trigger, you shoot. So far, it seems that it’s a “friendlier” shooter game (more of HALO and less of Ghost Recon) but still very enjoyable. The offline demo is free to play on the website. It’s sort of like Deus Ex online. The game is brand new, which is another selling point of playing – you don’t start a game like Everquest at level 1 when level 60+’s dominate the game. Granted, it’s been out in Europe for a few weeks now, so there are those that are higher up, but for the most part everyone is a n00b right now.

My business partner and I got into a discussion about Diet Pills last night. He went on about being on “legalized speed” and I told him to watch Requiem For A Dream. I told him briefly about Ellen’s character and he said that’s the perfect woman for him. Um…. the 65+ geriatric crowd? Yeah, she’s older so she’s “experienced” and if she’s on speed then I bet she fucks like a minx….

Blah blah blah, I’m going out to the BBQ place for my weekly fix and then I’m gonna get on and shoot stuff. Word is bond.