Category: News

So I guess we all have to deal with the new Elektra flick in our own way. I will do my best to refrain from seeing it, since I wanted to gouge out my own eyes with a used soup spoon after seeing Daredevil. However, I am constantly aware of the fact that Jennifer Garner is hot, and that I would like to do naughty things to her. Sadly, the theater is the closest thing to me accomplishing this at the moment, at least as soon as that ban is lifted. Fucking nazis, we all do it.

Oh yeah, new pics in the Jennifer gallery. Enjoy.

Oh yeah, you can see the first five minutes of Elektra over at Yahoo Movies.

I won’t though.

Hiroshi Yamauchi, the man who’s heavily responsible for the fact that we even have a gaming industry, has done a hilarious Wired interview in which he rants about fat Americans, Microsoft’s secret offer to buy Nintendo, and Canadians. Well worth your time, the man is crazy in the best way possible.

*Edit* Ha! Farked! Whoops.

Decided to pop in a few color shots of Kirsten Dunst and her now-famous beach nipple slip incident. Kudos to the photographer, that’s some good work.

For those of you who haven’t heard of it, ‘The Perry Bible Fellowship’ is the definition of comedy.

( ‘Ballerina Slippers’ happens to be one of my personal favorites. )

Take a look in your wallets fellas, because those rubbers might not be as sturdy as your… yeah.

[ Consumer Reports Rates Condoms ] (thanks Grant)

The consumers group best known for rating cars and washing machines has turned its testing prowess to condoms to find out which ones measure up best and how other birth control methods compare.

The nonprofit Consumers Union says in a new guide to contraception that the seven top types of condom they studied did not burst despite vigorous testing, and all models met international standards.

A melon-colored model distributed by Planned Parenthood performed the worst, bursting during a test in which the latex condoms were filled with air.

*thinks*

*checks wallet*

Oh right, the whiskey flavored ones from that vending machine in Edinburgh. I’m safe.

Poor little Ashlee Simpson. I gotta admit, I love watching this girl get knocked around:

From IMDB: Ashlee Simpson was at the center of another live show controversy on Tuesday night when her half-time performance at the college football Orange Bowl in Miami, Florida, was booed. The sister of pop star Jessica Simpson was outed as a lipsyncher during an embarrassing performance on Saturday Night Live back in October, and she was left red-faced again during an awful live show Tuesday night. Amid technical problems that saw fellow half-time show performers Kelly Clarkson and Trace Adkins struggle to hear themselves, Ashlee howled her way through hit single “La La,” hitting bad note after bad note. And fans of Orange Bowl finalists University Of Southern California and Oklahoma weren’t shy about voicing their disapproval – and booed her loudly. The censors also clamped down on the singer, insisting she remove a sexually-charged “French maid” line in the song and replace it with “lemonade”.

Hahahaha, oh that is sad. But it is nice to see my local brothers over at SC sticking it to a defenseless little halfwit. That kind of shit is my cup of tea. So anyway, pics:

Now what’s this bullshit about uber-hottie Heidi Klum getting hitched to motherfucking Seal?!? Somebody needs to get Unidor off his ass, and onto his space unicorn. Don that sombrero, bitch, it’s wrong-rightin’ time!

So I’ve been suffering from a nasty bronchial infection for a couple of days, which thanks to antibiotics, is going away. This morning was pretty rough though, since I pretty much lost my voice completely. Aside from scratchy two-syllable words, I wasn’t getting much out above a whisper. And since my voice was so fucked up, I affected the gruff monotone vocal timber of a 90-year-old nicotene addict. So when we were at the Dublin visitors center attempting to get bus tickets, I had an interesting conversation with the woman who charged me two Euro for a bottle of fucking water:

Her: “That’ll be two Euro, five cents please. “
*I hand her three Euro*
Her: “Oh hey now. Have ye possibly got a five cent coin on ye?”
Me: “I…” (at this point my voice gives out completely, making it impossible to finish saying “I think so”, and it simply sounds like a gravelly Irish “Aye”)
Her: “Oh, great!” (follows up with a long string of what I can only assume is Gaelic)
Me: *baffled* “…..Aye.”

She was sort of confused after that, I can only hope that her foreign inquiry was not something important, like my sexual preferences or something.

I am posting on what is possibly the worlds shittiest internet payphone, and all i can think of is how thankful i am that irelands tap water is more tasty (and less brown) than scotlands. the guinness is far better as well. cheers.

So Jeff sent in a lovely new photo from some Scarlett Johansson flick where her funbags almost make a guest appearance. Check it out for yourself.

Ah crap, that reminds me that I have to get the images out of the BAMF Scarlett Johansson gallery and into the one over at SOTD.

A punishing job, but somebody’s gotta do it, dammit.

[ Blue Peanut M&M Sexually Assaults Woman ]

Cops are hunting a sex fiend dressed as a chocolate peanut.

The pervert – in a blue M&M sweet outfit – attacked a 24-year-old woman on her way home from a party.

But who’s to say this really happened? According to the article the woman “staggered home” and then claims she was assaulted by a man in a “blue fancy dress outfit.” Shit, for all we know she could’ve had drunken sex with one of those blue street-corner mailboxes.