Category: News

It’s been busy as fuck around here. Having a real job is painful to the creativity, humor, and general will to go on living capacities. So lets liven things up with some videos that make me not want to strangle every single one of you with rusty chicken wire. (It’s nothing personal baby, it’s just business…)

• From: Doug
  28 Minutes of Zelda Twilight Princess gameplay

  I think this will seal at least a few Revolution sales.

• From: Billy Ray
  Keeley Hazell’s video calendar (deliciously NSFW)

  This is your Christmas present.

• From: Sharkey
  Conan’s 2005 Year-In-Review

  Hello me, I sent this to you, just so that all of the videos could synch together inside that little box with the asian mailman. I do things the way I wants, baby.

  P.S. let’s have sex later.

….

….

….are you not watching the Keeley video? What are you, gay? Get the fuck out of here!

AmazonCreditsYou.com

Amazon.com has a price guarantee policy to credit buyers back cash. If the product you purchased within the last 30 days has dropped in price they will credit you back the difference. The only problem is that you have to check and then notify them in order to get the credit.

After you make an Amazon purchase, drop by this site and enter it into our database. We do the rest. We’ll check everyday and send you an email if the price has dropped. In the email will be a link right to the place where you claim your credit.

Pretty fucking sweet idea. As long as its not an email farming scheme, but whatever. Gmail spam account, prepare yourself!

Dude. The “Time to make the donuts” guy died.

He was in over 1,300 TV commercials. That was one busy little man.

Tragically, we can’t have one.

Using a Pac Man cocktail table arcade game (the popular maze game by Midway, circa 1980) as a base, the standard glass was replaced with a custom-shaped, 1/2″ thick, polished edge table top glass. The design of the table top allows players to sit at either end of the arcade game while adding additional surface area on the outer edges. Four adults can comfortably sit at the table.

The arcade game is enhanced with Clay Cowgill’s MultiPac, allowing up to 24 different game variations to be played while enjoying dinner.

Fucking. Awesome.

Why am I still abstaining from watching this show?

I got a lot of good stuff from everyone yesterday, but I had to share one gift with you. My brother in law gave me the Extreme Lightning Reaction, and I gotta say, this is going to be one of the greatest fucking drinking games ever.

Extreme Lightning Reaction

Set the shock levels, grab a handle, try to be the first to hit the button after the light turns green. If you don’t, you get fucking shocked.

I had to go to four Christmas get-togethers yesterday (oy) and we played it at every single one. There’s nothing quite so satisfying as shocking some old guy who doesn’t know what’s coming. It’s especially fun picking on the sissies who don’t hold onto the handle after the initial shock. Watch out when women play, btw. They seem to love throwing the handles at the table after being shocked.

The stupid.com one came with batteries installed, which was pleasant. You can probably find the damned thing all over the place, but you should definitely grab one to fuck with your friends.

Merry Christmas, you little chiselers.

And the award for “Bitch-I’d-Like-To-Strangle-Most” this holiday season goes to…. this evil whore. Bring on the evidence, please:

Farrisi doesn’t believe in Santa Claus, and she doesn’t think anyone else should, either. She made her feelings clear to the classroom full of 6- and 7-year-olds, some of whom went home crying.

Schaeffer got off the school bus later that day, dragging her backpack in the mud, tears in her angry little eyes.

Wow. So basically, she’d like to destroy the fantasies of 6 to 7 year olds for her own personal gratification. That’s lovely. As you can imagine, there was backlash from the parents. Care to see what disciplinary action was taken against a teacher who directly contradicted the wishes of parents, and made a classroom full of children cry?

Since the issue involves personnel, Bell said Monday, there is little he can say about the incident, adding that it has not been determined if any disciplinary action is warranted against Farrisi.

“We do not have a Santa Claus policy,” he said. “It’s unfortunate, but I really can’t say anything about it.”

She’s a substitute fucking teacher, and she’s not going to get reamed for this? I know how the sub teacher program usually works, she should at least get dropped from the fucking call list. You know, if burning her on a big stake in front of the school doesn’t sufficiently destroy her corporeal form.

[ Stoned Owl Hides In Christmas Tree ]

Animal control officers from Pelican Man’s Bird Sanctuary came to get the owl, and said they smelled a strange odor on it when they did.

“Curiously enough, the owl’s feathers smelled very, very potently like marijuana,” said Jeff Dering, of the sanctuary. “They examined the owl, looked at its eyes, … and the owl was, in the vernacular, stoned.”

Blood tests confirmed the owl’s state.

How long before we get a bunch of stoned OH RLY? images?

So apparently these excellent photos of Jennifer Lopez hit the net, featuring a little bit of titillating nipple action. Unfortunately, they don’t seem to be up over at SOTD, so I went ahead and helped out a bit. You’re welcome.

Anyone care to be on the expiration date of the future ex-Mr-Lopez (Marc Anthony)? Her first marriage lasted like 11 months, the second one under a year and a half… I’m guessing this one will last forever, personally. I really do. Let’s all pull for these kids my friends, because the third time’s the charm.

*Please note, forever in Sharkey years is precisely 2 years, 4 months, and 23 days. Offer void in Utah. Please drink responsibly.