Category: News

OK, Bongweasel… I need to know how to get this PSP PS1 emulator running on mine, which would make it useful for the first time in months.

Not that I need more distractions. I decided to beat Advanced Wars DS on the hard level, and I have a 62″ television. Sleep at this point is just a luxurious distraction from my life’s work.

Nothing like arriving at home, realizing that you forgot to put a parking pass in the car, and then having to foot a $450 towing/storage bill.

Then again, our new TV arrived while I was away, so I’m now posting this while sitting in front of 62″ of high-definition glory. Tragically, I no longer have any excuse for not purchasing an Xbox 360 and a subscription to Xbox Live. This means that Captain Terror will finally get what he’s been asking Santa for going on two years: a serious online beatdown courtesy of yours truly.

As for the trip, I had an excellent time. After being assured that next year’s visit will come after the house is wired for broadband, I can say with all confidence that I’ll truly enjoy going up there for many years to come. There’s something to be said about being able to take a walk for miles and not encounter another human being, just for a little while. My sister and I decided to traverse the mountain that encompasses a large portion of the property, which was no easy task. It’s a fairly steep incline that consists mainly of loose terrain, pokey trees and jagged rocks. Thankfully, there’s a fire road that leads back down the damned thing, otherwise I would have had to murder my sibling and use her corpse as a makeshift sled. Here are a couple of pictures so you can get the basic idea.

So just imagine me, whatever you think I look like, peering down upon all creation with contempt. The place is pretty amazing, but if you’re not the kind of person who can stand peace, quiet, and non-city living (my girlfriend discovered that she is definitely not) then this is a vacation filled with excruciating boredom and anxiety. For a guy who is excruciatingly bored and anxious back home, it was a welcome change of pace for a few days. Next time I hope to use a lot more of the destructive machinery lying around the farm, (is it a farm if they don’t grow or raise a damned thing?) before I become too old to truly enjoy the simple pleasures of chainsawing the bejeezus out of everything in sight.

…oh, and here’s the TV. I don’t expect I’ll move much this week.

You never really appreciate softcore porn until you’ve seen those boobies rendered at 150% of their real life size.

I don’t really know anything about Maggie Grace other than her stint on “Lost.” But since the show is starting up in a week or two, minus her corpse (ooh spoiler nooo!) I feel that it is time to update her gallery. And secretly, I also feel that if you don’t appreciate it I’ll just die.

…

*waits hopefully for kudos.

I’m up at my parent’s ranch in Washington. Really odd to say that, as my parents are such dedicated city folk. They decided that for their retirement they’d like to spend summers up here on this huge plot of land in the middle of nowhere, and the winters back in sunny So Cal. They’ve been doing it for awhile and love it, so I finally decided to come and see what all the excitement was about. After a day up here, I can see why, with one exception: 26.6k Internet access. I think the tubes for their interweb connection consist of the latest in tin-can-and-string technology. I’ll try to post the SOTD in a little while, if I can get a few hours to dedicate to the effort.

Diane Lane is one of those women who seems to defy time with her fantastic bosoms. She’s gotten more mileage out of that body than the most cautious of Honda owners. And God bless her for continuing to show it off by taking off her clothing.

Updated gallery. You know the drill.

I’m bettin’ the bride who approved of this wedding cake had one hell of a larboard side.

Yarr, it be that time of year again, matey. The hour is at hand where bitches become wenches, and prosthetic limbs are exchanged for peg legs. Aye, it be International Talk Like A Pirate Day. So go out and rape the sauciest wench you’ve ever seen, because today it be legal. Gooood an’ legal. So go steal some MP3s, because we scallywags don’t go in fer’ anythin’ legal.

Wow.

Hey, would you look at that! The Alexis Bledel gallery doesn’t totally fucking suck anymore! Huzzah!

I think I deserve a Coke®.

So as I’m sure most of you have heard by now, a whole slew of Nintendo Wii news hit the tubes of the interweb today. Let’s break down some of the bigger points:

• The system will launch on November 19th, with an MSRP of $250. It’ll come packaged with Wii Sports, which has the tennis game shown at E3, bowling, baseball, golf, and boxing. A pretty good strategy for getting people used to the Wii-mote.
• There will be 25 titles at launch, the biggest of course being Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. First party games retail for $50.
• The Wii will have the Opera browser (Flash enabled) for browsing on the console, although I can’t ever see myself using it. There is quite a bit of speculation that the browser will be free for a limited time.
• The Virtual Console will work on a “WiiPoints” system, where you purchase in multiples of 2000 points for $20 a pop. They can be spent on any of the NES, SNES, and N64 games that will be available. 30 games will be up for grabs at launch, with 60 on the way before the end of the year. The prices break down as such: NES Games: $5. SNES Games: $8. N64 Games: $10.
• Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles. Damn near everyone’s favorite characters are back, including Jill, Chris, and Leon. No official release date, although they did push Metroid Prime 3 back until 2007.
• ALL first-party games will be widescreen.
• There will be no online titles at launch, none scheduled until Pokemon on December 2nd.
• The Wii will be region-free. Play Japanese imports to your heart’s content.

Sad that the Gamecube version of Zelda won’t be out until Christmas, but who am I kidding, I’ll have a Wii on launch day. And, for the twelfth time, I will re-purchase all of my old favorite NES games because I must have them in every available format. It’s a disease, and you can’t blame me for having a disease, you insensetive pricks.