Category: News

Evil Homer felt compelled to share the latest ridiculous product approved by the FDA: Anti-Obesity Pills…. For Dogs.

….

“This is a welcome addition to animal therapies, because dog obesity appears to be increasing,” said Stephen Sundlof, D.V.M., Ph.D., director of FDA’s Center for Veterinary Medicine. “Veterinarians are well aware that overweight pets are at a higher risk of developing various health problems, from cardiovascular conditions to diabetes to joint problems.”

Adverse reactions associated with treatment with Slentrol include vomiting, loose stools, diarrhea, lethargy and loss of appetite.

To discourage human use, the label of Slentrol includes the standard warning, “Not for use in humans. Keep this and all drugs out of reach of children,” and cites adverse reactions associated with human use, including abdominal distention, abdominal pain, diarrhea, flatulence, headache, nausea and vomiting.

Seriously… I mean seriously. I know there are exceptions to this, but if you can’t keep a dog in good shape, should you be allowed to care for any being other than yourself, if that? Shit, if you’re going to put your dog on weight loss medication, why not just adopt a child and screw up their lives instead? I mean if you’re going to be a fuckup, go whole hog as a fuckup. Don’t limit your potential damage to a canine, you have endless destructive possibilities my idiot friend. God is calling upon you to share that gift with the world.

“To discourage human use,” Jesus. It stands to reason that a fat idiot would have a fat idiot dog too, why not share the medication if you’re sharing your leftover table scraps from that extra large pizza that you so lovingly call “your individual” size.

Previously, the only Apple to get me hard was Fiona. Oh and that one time with the box of Apple Jacks, but I think that was just puberty and bad timing. But now the trend has been cocked up by Steve and his pretentious looking cronies.

Apple TV – HDMI, WiFi, Intel, 40GB (Hard)

Apple Unveils The iPhone (Harder)

If it plays all of the formats that I desire, that Apple TV is going to look pretty slick in my entertainment center. I’ve been plotting to put together a little media center machine for all of these purposes, but laziness (and new game consoles) have deterred me from accomplishing this goal. If Apple wants to charge me $300 to do the whole shebang for me, kudos to them.

Bruce Campbell to be the new spokesman for “Old Spice.”

Until they can figure out how to stuff pure fucking awesome into a can that you can drink on the go, this particular endorsement will have to do for ol’ Bruce.

NASA Finds Life On Mars, Kills It

That’s the ticket. Steven Spielberg has spent a lot of time and money to convince us that alien life is cute, cuddly, and loves our most peanut-buttery of terran candies. I say fuck that peace loving bullshit, blow them out of the fucking sky or wherever they come from. Then we can analyze the smoldering bits and determine whether or not their females were hot and had compatible orifices, and move forward appropriately.

If you haven’t seen Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang, then I feel incredibly sorry for you. Even if you’re a fuckin’ idiot and don’t enjoy the movie, you’ll definitely appreciate seeing Michelle Monaghan in half of her naked glory. But for now, this HQ gallery update should suffice.

Paint fumes (from our repainting) and Grandma’s Boy make for a good afternoon off from work.

Blastwave

Why did I not know about this comic until now? It gets updated once every Presidential administration or so, but it is well worth the wait.

They just gave up on any sense of dignity or integrity, and decided to give us anything we want so that we’ll sit tight during those commercial breaks. Therefore, they give us the tasering of Latoya Jackson and Ponch.

How did the doctors make a woman look exactly like her completely deformed-by-plastic-surgery brother? Amazing.

I got hit up by the guy who runs MyFreePaysite awhile back, talking about getting people to visit his site. I didn’t really pay it much attention because the word “free” makes my brain immediately brand it with “bullshit.” But the guy convinced me to sign up… and it’s actually free. Lots and lots of free porn, all in one convenient location. This, friends, is a sponsor I can get behind.

They don’t sign you up for spam, but I wouldn’t believe me if I said that either. So sign up with whatever anti-spam email address you normally use, and check out the mountains of free depravity that is contained within that one site. I feel pretty good plugging these guys, so you should feel good checking them out. And then check out the Bloopers & Outtakes section, and tell me that I’m not completely alone in thinking that it is hot.

Well there’s something you don’t see every day… Ashlee Simpson’s nipple.

There are so many of these nipple/vagina slips these days that you just can’t help but become skeptical of their “innocence.” I sincerely doubt that paparazzi have just so happened to master the art of catching a virginal pop star sans-panties on the way to some trashy nightclub. These (maybe not this one, but a lot) are career moves, which begs the question: was Ashlee’s dad/business manager consulted on the nipular content of her week? Will an upcoming episode of “Hogan Knows Best” revolve around the Hulkster coming to grips with Brooke’s promoter insisting that she “accidentally” release a sex tape upon an unsuspecting public?

Not that I’d frown upon such a thing, mind you. I’d just like to get my DVR ready.

Fox Puts A Bullet In “The O.C.”

Bolt is gonna be depressed.

“The O.C.,” the once-hot teenage soap opera that saw its ratings plummet like a delinquent student’s grades, has been canceled. The final episode of the drama will air 9 p.m. EST Thursday, Feb. 22, Fox TV and Warner Bros. Television Production Inc. said Wednesday.

The finale “will deliver real closure to the series, to the story we began telling four years ago,” series creator Josh Schwartz said in a statement. “It will be fun and emotional and I think really satisfying. It is the finale we always planned to do.”

The show was fun for the first couple of seasons, even if for nothing else than the drinking game. But after awhile I just didn’t give a crap about the storyline. Plus Floyd’s gigantic projector broke down, so… everyone dispersed. I will say this for the show, it did help get me more action overseas. Scottish women, for instance, loved us. But they loved us even more when they heard that we were from “The O.C.” which to them is a land of rich people and a beach fight with the water polo team every ten minutes.

Bye bye, sweet bringer of Christmakuh. You introduced us to Mischa Barton, Rachel Bilson, Autumn Reeser, and many other fine additions to the galleries. Plus, you told the truth about Chino… it’s fucking grainy, and everything is tinted yellow, like it was filmed by a drunkened Michael Bay. Truth be told.