Category: News

You know, I never thought that Michelle Branch was that hot… until Maxim magazine did that spread of her a couple of months ago. Which, by the way, is in her gallery. Hot. And she’s banging like a 40-year-old. Stupid kids, I can’t wait to be 40 so I can bang idiotic 18-year-old chicks who think they’re so cool because I wangify their mouths. God bless future Viagra, which I would imagine will make my penis flavored, like grape jelly or something.

…What?

You know, Cameron Diaz would have been today’s slice, now that she’s an S&M Video star (which is currently circulating through the Pie Forum), but you’ll notice that her gallery is bare. That’s because Cammy’s lawyers decided to threaten the shit out of Solo and I last year. You had your chance, sweet cheeks, but this ship has sailed. Like a gleaming pie tin on the sea of smut, I shall disappear into the sunset.

[ Glenn Danzig Gets Dropped Like A Bad Habit ] – was going to post this hours ago, but Gunner beat me to it in the forums. Now I will steal his stolen quote text as well. What are you gonna do about it, huh?

Bad show with Danzig last night. I posted this on Blabbermouth.com before he tries to sue me for knocking him out. Read this and die with laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Before crazy rumors begin to spread I would like to explain what happened:

North Side Kings were to play with Danzig last night in Tuba City, Arizona. To make a long story short the whole show was a disaster and a few bands got bumped off. Mr. Danzig (or his managment??) refused to push back the original scheduled time slot so North Side Kings and Rapid Fire would have to play “after” his set. Whatever- we agreeded to play later because we drove 6 hours and didn’t feel like going home without playing. Needless to say, as soon as Danzig was finished, the venue turned on the lights and Danzigs crew and the staging company began to take the stage apart almost instantly. I confronted Mr. Danzig backsatge while he was signing autographs and told him I thought he was an asshole because of his “rockstar” attitude and no consideration twords the FEW other bands that got bumped off tonight. In a fit of rage he turned around and slammed me into the wall yelling “fuck you motherfucker” trying to be a big toughguy in front of his fans. I -in self defence punched him in the face knocking him out as he was attacking me again. He went down, bleeding from his mouth, eyes rolled back, and in shock that he got knocked to the floor so quickly.

A friend happened to tape the entire incident and this is all documented. Many witnesses saw him attack me, and I did what any man would do. It was unfortunate that this went the way it did -and I hoped Glen Danzig learned a valuable lession tonight – Do not lay your hands on anyone unless you can handle what may happen. I aploigize for nothing, except for the poor little kids that had to witness this big asshole get his ass kicked in a matter of seconds…..

Danny M, North Side Kings

This video totally reminds me of that video where the kids are playing “Fight Club” and the one kids like “GO. GOOOOOOO!” and poof, his buddy knocks his lights out with one simple punch. Anybody want to submit me a link to that one, so I don’t seem like a stingy bitch with my video sharing?

I’ve had many requests for the annoying little sister of Jessica Simpson, so now you can all bask in her glory. Well, at least the spillover glory that she gets from riding the coattails of her big sister. Anyway, here’s Ashlee Simpson. Enjoy.

Ashlee, in case you didn’t know, is starring in a show even more annoying than Jessica, entitled The Ashlee Simpson Show. Clever, eh? Just like her, if the entire world was one giant opposite skit from “You Can’t Do That On Television.” I predict her show will last about as long as a J-Lo relationship.

By the way, if any of you have excellently revealing pictures of Ashlee here, please feel free to send them to me. I will sit and imagine her and her sister in comprimising positions, and then eventually I will post them.

[ MMODating.com – Dating for gamers ] – Do yourself a favor. Click the link, just hit the “Quick Search” button, and enjoy. Example.

I sense a great disturbance in the Force. It’s as if 500 Nigerian email scammers suddenly screamed out in terror, and were suddenly silenced… I fear something fucking excellent has happened.

I wonder if any of these guys were pinched?

[ Best Buy Fucking Hates You ] – Are you an “Angel Customer” or a “Demon Customer?” And which one are you going to be after reading this?

So much for the customer always being right.

Some retailers are deciding that the customer can be very, very wrong — as in unprofitable. And some, including Best Buy Co. Inc., are discriminating between profitable customers and shoppers they lose money on.

“What we’re trying to do is not eliminate those customers, but just diminish the number of offers we make to them,” Anderson said.

Wow. That’s a lot of bluster for a company that usually has higher prices than their competitors. Especially on DVDs, the bastards. My heart might bleed the tiniest bit for them, if they didn’t treat me like a dick every fucking time I visit one of their stores. The salespeople are condescending, they never have enough open registers, and the fucking door people who check the receipts can be downright vicious.

I think that consultant is going to be fired, btw. Nobody within the corporate brass of Best Buy is going to want a Nazi like that representing the company to a newspaper. They like to keep their Nazis posted at the doors, or held safely in the office behind a bunch of PR experts like everybody else.

[ “Do The Jew” Is My Personal Favorite ]

By the third day of Creation East, the granddaddy of Christian rock festivals, Dave Lula could pick a winner among the merchandise he was selling. It was a $12 T-shirt of his own design that said “I Mosh for Jesus.” The crowd was young, Mr. Lula figured, and this appealed to their sense of humor and independence.

T-shirts screamed or punned for attention. One shirt declared, “Body Piercing Saved My Life,” and showed a hand with a nail through it. Other brisk-sellers said “Jesus Freak” or mimicked the Mountain Dew advertising logo, tweaking the slogan to read, “Do the Jew,” meaning to emulate Jesus. Booths promoted Christian colleges, foreign missions and a DVD player that skips over racy material in movies.

The body piercing one got me to chuckle as well. Good for them.

[ You must obey the Dance Commander ]

Don’t ask me, it’s fun for awhile. Besides, the Internet is essentially asleep today anyway.

You will notice, my new best friend, that there is a new “top referrers” area on the left. This is the new link system (special thanks to harrybits for his awesomeness), which automatically tracks whether or not you are linking to badassmofo.com. If you want in on the link exchange program, just link to badassmofo.com, and if you can send us a few hits, you’ll wind up on the list.

The preferable method to link to bamf is something along this line: badassmofo.com

Just in case you cared, sliceoftheday.com does the same damn thing. So if you’re looking for more traffic, or a boost in your google PR, give it a shot.

For the rest of you who either don’t run websites or don’t care, I give you Saddam Rock-Paper-Scissors. Happy Friday.

Well… I guess that’s it for Interplay.

Less than a day after CEO Herve Caen said Interplay was “still here,” the publisher has apparently been shut down by the State of California. The Orange County Register’s Tamara Chuang reported late Friday that California’s Department of Industrial Relations, Division of Labor Standards Enforcement forced the Irvine, California-based developer-publisher of Fallout to suspend operations.

The closure followed a snap inspection of Interplay’s offices by investigators, who found the company was without workers’ compensation insurance and had not paid employees. According to officials, there were 14 staffers on-site Friday during the inspection, and 79 still on Interplay’s payroll–down nearly 40 since their mid-April financial statements.

I guess their last shot is this Fallout MMORPG, which I probably won’t care about, since I don’t play MMORPGS. Penny Arcade’s got a pretty funny commentary on the whole thing. I feel bad for all those poor bastards who haven’t been paid, but still cling to the hope that their hard work and sacrifice can pull the company out of the red. I hope it pays off, for their sake.

It’s sad for me, because I’ve been over to the Irvine Interplay offices many times, and I’ve always enjoyed the fact that it was right there. When I was with the old game company, we met with Interplay folk trying to get funding or advice many times. Not to mention all the free games over the years. Now I’ve gotta go cozy back up to the Blizzard crowd again. *sigh*