Category: News

Pandemic 2 (courtesy of Bongy)

Damn you Madagascar and your 19.4 million survivors, damn you to Hell!

is a kid getting eaten, but still,the funney is there because of the crying kids and freaked out parents.

Anyone else catch a glimpse of the mutated afterbirth that is Hayden Panetierre’s new music video? The appropriately named “Wake Up Call” will hopefully wake up everyone’s gag reflex, and her Paris-Hiltonesque sound (I hate that she made me invent this term) will be suffocated before it can spread overseas. Then the whole experience can serve as a warning to music industry execs who have been throwing around recording contracts like they were the really shitty candy you’d get on Halloween, back when your Mom would make you share with your younger sister so you had to root around in the bag for the Bit O’ Honeys and anything made of black licorice to throw it at her in her stupid plastic Barbie mask. She didn’t even like candy, she just wanted it because I had it!

…therapy is going well.

I have to warn you, I’m going to review The Dark Knight and I’m undoubtedly going to discuss plot elements that you won’t want to know prior to seeing the flick. So unless spoilers are your sort of thing, perhaps this one paragraph breakdown will suffice.

*Ahem*

It’s good. It’s damn good. It’s damn good like Iron Man was damn good, except that John Favreau had the luck of releasing his baby prior to this film’s release. Not that Dark Knight is better overall, it’s just that… alright, it probably is better overall, but I’ll have to watch both again before I make that sort of statement. What I can say is that Dark Knight isn’t just a great comic book movie, it’s a great movie. Rather than spending his time focusing on the main character (Bats) and giving us the story primarily from his perspective, Nolan gave an incredible amount of celluloid to the other characters as well. And for once, that wasn’t a bad thing. Especially since, though he is excellent at playing both an emotionless facade and a cocky rich asshole, Christian Bale was the least of the main performances. That’s not to say that it’s bad, it’s just that we already spent an entire movie on his issues before; all we need now is to see him being a rich prick by day, then stuff him into some spandex and chuck him off a building right after sundown. Besides, with the excellent performances by Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckheart, Bale was probably better off sitting this one out.

If you’re interested in reading my spoilery thoughts on the flick, stick around. Just be patient for a bit. I’m not a Goddamned machine, to just turn on and crank out editorial content. I need a soda to press on, you fucking slavedriver.

Radioheads “House of Cards” video is a pure digital affair that uses no cameras, but specialty lasers to capture images. Because the system is digital, you can maniuplate it real time while watching it.

Man you could really impress the kids on the block with your BSG Toasted Sandwich.

America Rules! 

Am I the only one who wants to see Lee and Anne Marie from those e-Harmony commercials go down in horrific flames? I could be on board with their supposed love if Lee didn’t look like he popped every single collar from 2002 up until about four months before he met this chick. The more I know about the two of them, the more I wish he’d met oncoming traffic as opposed to this fairly cute brunette.

If he ever dies in some horrific fashion, one of you bastards let me know. We’re crashing the funeral.

How else can one explain this bullshit?

Family of faggot fans fly the flag

“The nation knows that the Cornish pasty, Yorkshire pudding, haggis and fish and chips are great British dishes, but all too often the faggot is left off that list,” said Janet Doody.

Her husband Fred added: “It’s unfair because faggots were a British delicacy long before any of the others.

“The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year.”

Are you fucking serious? Give the guy who wrote this a fucking medal for teh funney.

Update: shit, I just realized that this was an article from 2003. Still funny though.