So my girlfriend wants to go on this diet that her Mom got her interested in, right? It’s one of those retarded half-fasting diets. The kind that’s basically a binge diet that claims to work forever if you do it correctly. So she and her Mom get the shakes, and the liquid fasting drinks, and the snack things, and all of the pills. Then yesterday, when they were both supposed to start the damned thing, her Mom tells her that she can’t because she’s “too stressed” to fast for the next two days, which is what the diet calls for. So now the girlfriend is upset, because as we all know, girls can’t do a damned thing by themselves. So she comes cryin’ to me about how she doesn’t have anyone to fast with, and then works the old female charms on me. And by “female charms”, I mean “threats of sex deprivation.” Since I’m trying to get back into the gym more often and since I am a man and have needs, I decide to placate her and do the stupid diet. What can it hurt, right? I only have to do the fasting shit with her, which is two days. I’ve gone without food for two days before without any problems. Although I was in a liquor coma at the time, so I’m not sure if it counts.
So after a half-day of fasting, she’s bugging me like crazy trying to make sure that I’m not cheating. I tell her to worry about herself, because I have what we call “willpower”. That was a bold-faced lie, I have the willpower of a paper plate, but I can stop myself from eating by cramming my body full of water 24 hours a day. So after a solid 10 hours of fasting, listening to her incessently asking about my status, listening to her blab on about how good this is for us, guess what happens?
Damn right, she caved.
I, however, am nearly through day 2 and haven’t even thought about caving. Why did I continue? Guilt. That, and for some reason I like to rub victories in other people’s faces, no matter what the cost (ie: sex) or whom the victim.
Ladies, these binge diets are pointless. None of you can stick with them, and even if you do, you’ll never keep the weight off. Some people just can’t seem to realize that binge-anything does not work because your body just snaps back into its old routine the minute you stop the binge. If you’re a fatass and you lose 30 lbs. at the gym, chances are that you’ll have to keep going to the gym for the rest of your fucking life in order to keep those fat wrinkles from reattaching themselves to your formerly colossal ass. Learn, damn you all, learn!
This may seem to you like a completely pointless post, but consider this: I don’t think I can feel my feet, and I really have to pee. Food for thought.
Right on!Well done man! Couldn’t have said it better myself! Freakin girls and their diets!
trying to be a girl ?This post thinly veils your obvious desire to become a woman by dieting like a woman.Your competitive arrangement with your girlfriend is similar to the need that women have to compete with one another for the attention of an alpha male. Just what we need… another pre-op tranny.Consider yourself under suspicion.
roflsux, how the fuck can you starve yourself for 2 days (retorical) bleh….
suspicionI have to concur with Frank. Sharkey’s lady friend is making him week. What next, a marathon to see who can watch the complete series of Anne and Green Gables?
diet storiesthey don’t just go back to their old routines… it’s worse than that.i know a (quite obviously fat) girl (read: beast) who dieted for two days before her formal in her final year of college. dieted, in this case, meaning starving herself for five hour stretches, then eating like a fucking cow, and dieting for another five hours, and so on. pretty ridiculous, but get this: after her two day \”diet\”, the day after the formal, the bitch went to KFC and rewarded herself with a fucking 15 piece family meal and ate the damn thing within about 2 hours.that’s why \”dieting\” doesn’t work. although this cow might be even worse than most… after all, after seeing her roommate on her way to throw out a can of icing that had been sitting out for 2 days, she told the roommate \”oh, no! don’t throw that out!\” and proceeded to stick her hands in the icing and lick her fingers clean. several times.
wtf?So you say she persuaded you to do the fasting mostly because of threats of no sex. Then after she caves you say you kept going just to win, despite the fact it will cost you sex??