Author: Sharkey

I’m certain that by now, you’ve heard about the massive destruction due to the tsunami that hit Asia.

Amidst the tragedy, a little bit of horrible comedy is born.

More than 200 prisoners escaped from a jail in Indonesia’s restive Aceh province Sunday after a tsunami knocked down the prison walls, a police official said.

Ali Taruna Jaya, police chief in the town of Pidie, said a few of the 204 inmates who fled from the coastal jail had given themselves up.

“The prisoners escaped from the jail. It appears some did it for their own safety after the tsunami crashed into the jail,” Jaya told Metro TV.

Honestly. If this doesn’t turn into a Spike Jonze flick or something, I will be sorely disappointed. Hollywood will have failed.

Just so that when I get back from the UK, I don’t have to listen to my pal Billy Ray (who supplied new pics) bitching like a little girl who didn’t get a pony for Christmas, here’s Melissa Joan Hart.

Just goes to show that you can take any chick, throw her into some sort of Star Wars related fantasy, and Billy Ray will get a Viagra-like hard on. Not that he can see his dick anymore when he looks down, the fat bastard. Disgusting.

Well, my plane leaves in about four and a half hours, so I guess I’d better make this short and sweet. I’m off to Europe for some hard-earned R&R for the next couple of weeks. Not to worry, the slices will be a-comin’ and I’ll be able to post from the UK. There will also be some other help in entertaining you bastards around here, so don’t worry about it.

Wish me luck at St. Andrews, it’s going to be one cold motherfucking round of golf.

Just wanted to wish all of you a Merry Christmas. We wound up raising $1,500 for Childs Play, which is pretty damned amazing. I wound up throwing in a few bucks and some change to make it an even amount. I also took into account the folks who donated through the mail, so dark_sitha, lucius, and the others, don’t worry, I got the donations. Thanks again to every one of you who pitched in to help, it’s a great cause and we helped buy a lot of cool stuff for these kids.

We also earned your promised reward. And since you guys doubled the amount that I asked for, we’re going to start No Newbie New Year a little bit early. Like, oh I dunno, now.

Enjoy guys, you’ve earned it.

Whats wrong with this picture? (thanks Bongweasel)

Hey, if you’re going to be a stupid criminal, at the very least, be original. Unlike this fellow.

MILWAUKEE (AP) — Call it the case of the perfect clue. A man handed a note demanding money to a teller at the Wells Fargo Bank Thursday, took the money and fled.

Left behind was the note — written on the back of a paper from the state probation and parole department, complete with the man’s name on it, Deputy Police Chief Brian O’Keefe said Friday.

We’ve done this story already. Multiple times, kids. There was the guy that wrote the demands on his resume. Another guy did it on like the back of a bill. I think one stupid son of a bitch did it on the back of his birth certificate, which was stapled to his drivers license, two credit cards, and a printout of Mapquest directions to his house.

Honestly, just once I’d like to hear something creative coming out of the stupid criminal industry. Like a guy trying to mug Mike Tyson with a spork. I’d clap at that guy’s wake, that nigga had balls and a spark of imagination.

OH NOS! Hollywood royalty having marital problems? Scandalavisciousness!

Actress Jennifer Aniston has fuelled speculation her marriage to Brad Pitt is in turmoil – by taking off her wedding ring.

Rumours the relationship is deteriorating were first sparked during filming of Mr and Mrs Smith this summer when Pitt was romantically linked to his co-star Angelina Jolie.

The ex-Friends star added to the gossip by cancelling the Troy hunk’s 41st birthday party she’d agreed to host, weeks after reports she refused to have his first child.

Can you smell it? I can smell it. Space dust from the tail of a magical flying unicorn. That can only mean one thing:

Fly! You hear me, you magical son of a bitch? Fly!

So I had a request from Qrunchi, who sent in a few images to entice me towards the direction of Melissa George. It worked. It worked quite well. She was in the movie Dark City, and on the show “Alias”. She’s also pretty Goddamned hot. So I suggest that you enjoy her gallery. Wang in hand, you enjoy it. Lest the forces of darkness consume your soul!

Who else could use another drink?

Another one bites the dust. Seems like the MPAA went on a holiday rampage, destroying all of the large-scale Bittorrent websites, most notably Suprnova. Others like torrentbits.org and dvd-core.org also got hit.

I guess until we get a 100% decentralized version of Bittorrent (ie: no need for a website or servers to host the .torrent files) or a comparible alternative, we’re pretty much going to have to scrape around the Internet like rats. Rats who really like movies, but not paying for them. But we still like cheese, you know, because it’s delicious.

Alright, c’mon now kiddies. It’s your last week to help out with the BAMF Child’s Play Fundraiser. Which ought to be the BAMF-Attempts-To-Buy-Its-Way-Out-Of-Hell by helping out Penny Arcade’s Childs Play charity….. fundraiser… thing.

So anyway, the running tally so far (including our initial donation that got these shenanigans started) is around $1,300. Pretty respectable for a bunch of Hellworthy sons of bitches like ourselves, and more than enough to earn the No-Newbie-New-Year that I promised in the forums.

Like I said, this is the last week. The deadline for donations is Wednesday, because after that I’ve got to organize all the cash and get you bastards started on the No-newbie goodness. So if you’re looking to help out, and you needed a last-minute cattle-prod to the ass, consider yourself gently seared.