Author: Sharkey

Poor little Ashlee Simpson. I gotta admit, I love watching this girl get knocked around:

From IMDB: Ashlee Simpson was at the center of another live show controversy on Tuesday night when her half-time performance at the college football Orange Bowl in Miami, Florida, was booed. The sister of pop star Jessica Simpson was outed as a lipsyncher during an embarrassing performance on Saturday Night Live back in October, and she was left red-faced again during an awful live show Tuesday night. Amid technical problems that saw fellow half-time show performers Kelly Clarkson and Trace Adkins struggle to hear themselves, Ashlee howled her way through hit single “La La,” hitting bad note after bad note. And fans of Orange Bowl finalists University Of Southern California and Oklahoma weren’t shy about voicing their disapproval – and booed her loudly. The censors also clamped down on the singer, insisting she remove a sexually-charged “French maid” line in the song and replace it with “lemonade”.

Hahahaha, oh that is sad. But it is nice to see my local brothers over at SC sticking it to a defenseless little halfwit. That kind of shit is my cup of tea. So anyway, pics:

Now what’s this bullshit about uber-hottie Heidi Klum getting hitched to motherfucking Seal?!? Somebody needs to get Unidor off his ass, and onto his space unicorn. Don that sombrero, bitch, it’s wrong-rightin’ time!

So I’ve been suffering from a nasty bronchial infection for a couple of days, which thanks to antibiotics, is going away. This morning was pretty rough though, since I pretty much lost my voice completely. Aside from scratchy two-syllable words, I wasn’t getting much out above a whisper. And since my voice was so fucked up, I affected the gruff monotone vocal timber of a 90-year-old nicotene addict. So when we were at the Dublin visitors center attempting to get bus tickets, I had an interesting conversation with the woman who charged me two Euro for a bottle of fucking water:

Her: “That’ll be two Euro, five cents please. “
*I hand her three Euro*
Her: “Oh hey now. Have ye possibly got a five cent coin on ye?”
Me: “I…” (at this point my voice gives out completely, making it impossible to finish saying “I think so”, and it simply sounds like a gravelly Irish “Aye”)
Her: “Oh, great!” (follows up with a long string of what I can only assume is Gaelic)
Me: *baffled* “…..Aye.”

She was sort of confused after that, I can only hope that her foreign inquiry was not something important, like my sexual preferences or something.

I am posting on what is possibly the worlds shittiest internet payphone, and all i can think of is how thankful i am that irelands tap water is more tasty (and less brown) than scotlands. the guinness is far better as well. cheers.

So Jeff sent in a lovely new photo from some Scarlett Johansson flick where her funbags almost make a guest appearance. Check it out for yourself.

Ah crap, that reminds me that I have to get the images out of the BAMF Scarlett Johansson gallery and into the one over at SOTD.

A punishing job, but somebody’s gotta do it, dammit.

[ 867-530 ni-ee-i-een ]

Dig:

Some people don’t know what the hell this is, because I posted it on the snopes.com message board (they know what this is about) and it spread unexpectedly. There is an 80s song by Tommy Tutone called “Jenny (867-5309)” about a guy finding a girl’s name and number on a wall and he wants to call it. The song led to telephone lines getting jammed when the song first came out, which led to the rumor that telephone companies don’t give the number out or discontinued every 867-5309 out there. As you can see, I proved this wrong. The numbers are area codes.

The one about ‘getting a life’ really had to hit home for this guy.

[ Portable TiVos ]

Dammit. It’s like life has a permanent vacuum attached to my wallet.

Black Dragon sent in a nice shot of Spider Man 2 hottie Kirsten Dunst falling out of her top on some beach. Sharkey likee.

Well, I’ve sufficiently rocked Scotland, so it’s time to hop on a plane and take on Ireland. Hopefully it will be easier to get internet access over there, because this walking 10 blocks through the freezing cold just to check my email shit isn’t going to cut it.

Stupid server! If I wasn’t in Edinburgh, I’d have half a mind to kick it in the balls. And another half a mind to contemplate why I beleive that a server has balls.

Great! And just before I have to use the damned things, the Euro bitch slaps the dollar even harder.

This is a big change from my last European trip in 2002, when the Euro traded at 98 cents. I hope the Scottish like not getting tips. Or paid.

*Edit* I meant Ireland. …bitches.

I left today’s slice up to Bolt, who wants to see more of the chicks from “The OC”, and that’s something I can get on board with. Today, we’re highlighting the delicious Rachel Bilson, who plays Summer. She also played Summer playing Wonder Woman, which was like a cumulative geek orgasm exploding across the country.

By the by, I’m looking for pictures of Olivia Wilde that are not paparazzi shots. So if you’ve got magazine scans or whatnot that aren’t in the gallery, send ’em in.