Author: Sharkey

I can’t imagine why we haven’t yet had a decent gallery of Abi Titmuss. After all, she’s done pretty much nothing in her career aside from starring in a raunchy sex tape. Perhaps she and Paris Hilton should get together and swap tips… and maybe bodily fluids.

In other pie related news, I also uploaded a pic from some new Lacey Chabert flick that’s got a nice side shot of her funbags. Not exactly what you’d hope for, but it shows that the girl is open to new experiences. Good for her.

So Bad Ass MoFo reader Tom sent in a fine little nipple slip pic of Jennifer Garner, and I just had to make her SOTD again so you can enjoy it. And touch yourself. We all know what you’re doing, so don’t try to deny it.

In other news, absolutely nothing interesting happened in the world today. You heard it here first.

If you’ve been watching (and drinking to) “The O.C.”, which you really fucking should be, then you would have noticed the latest lesbian addition to the show. If not, please allow me to introduce you (at Bolt’s request) to Emmanuelle Chriqui.

I’m hoping for a lesbian three-way on next week’s episode. Of course, I’ve been wishing for that on my bed for years, and that still hasn’t happened. But I’m an optimist. …this week.

[ Man Pees Way Out Of Avalanche ]

Best use of beer for survival since Schindler bought Hitler a Coors Light®. Hands down.

[ $300 Sticker Improves Your Mileage ]

The fuel disc is a quarter-size piece of plastic. Its promoter, OceanCity Network of Thousand Oaks, Calif., is advising its network of salespeople to stock up on the stickers.

They retail for $299 each but are discounted for people who persuade others to sell them. Upper-level members – one of whom is based in Boulder – have to buy a minimum of 10 SmogBusters for about $1,400.

“It’s clear that it’s just a sticker and nothing else,” Dane said.

If any ladies out there have purchased this, I’d like to get you in on the ground floor of my new business venture. My semen is an anti-aging cream. Come down to my office today, and try a free sample straight from the tap!

[ Karma Gets A Little Rough With This Guy ] (totally forgot to give props to Bongweasel for sending me this)

I guarantee, if you’re not squeamish, you will watch this again and again. If only to figure out what the fuck was happening. I’ll have to call you back, some serious shit just happened.

https://www.littlemidgets.com/downloadsnew/sub_1631.wmv (direct download)

Captain Terror just let me know about Stan Lee’s next project. Apparently he’s decided to make an animated superhero project featuring Ringo Starr… as Ringo Starr, the superhero.

“Ringo is beloved worldwide for his commitment to people and his singular wit,” said Lee, the man responsible for the likes of Spider-Man and The Hulk. “Our Ringo Superhero character will combine these qualities, along with Ringo’s secret powers which people generally didn’t know about because he has kept them secret – until now.”Starr’s alter ego is described as an “evil-battling, Earth-saving – though reluctant – superhero with a great sense of rhythm.”

…

Captain Terror: Stan Lee has lost his mind.
Sharkey: …
Sharkey: ringo starr… as a superhero version of himself?
Captain Terror: I like the comment at the end about there is no word on what superpowers Starr has.
Sharkey: um… it would obviously be mind control, because there’s no other fucking way he’d get anyone to consider a stupid fucking idea like this.

So I guess Aishwarya Rai is getting pretty popular. From what I hear, she’s supposed to do another sequel to Romancing The Stone with Michael Douglas. Sounds like a shitty idea to me, but whatever gets us more hot pictures of her, I’m down for.

She needs to do a hot Maxim spread or something. The gallery is updated, but it definitely needs more.

So Bolt was talking to me about an article written by a gender traitor, in which the author (a man) describes why women are insane: men. Yeah, apparently estrogen has nothing to do with it. Women are nuts because we don’t put down the fucking toilet seat. Sounds to me like somebody needs to find his wife’s purse, pull his bits out of there, dust them off, and reattach them. Then, maybe he won’t have to beg for sex by writing articles like this.

Anyway, stupid article aside, I browsed to the main MSN site, and found this lil’ gif advertising for Match.com:

Oh goody, so my potential soul mate is looking for a man with a spellchecker and the brain capacity necessary to undo the CAPS lock. Not only that, but she looks like somebody bashed her in the face with a hot iron. And hey, if things don’t work out, the ad says I can meet plenty more singles just like her! So if you’re looking for a stupid bitch with the face of an angel that’s been mauled by a bear, you’re in luck! Thank you, Match.com, for letting me know just how effective online dating can be.

[ Calvin & Hobbes Snowmen Come To Life ]

Gold.