Author: Wrongforum

I hope you had a pleasant stay in the wonderful year of the two thousand and two. Because next year is just going to be more of the same, with the same people ruining our lives. Not that I’m bitter about John Ashcroft tracking me down and branding my ass with a UPC code, just in case I might decide to maybe someday imply with a knowing wink to a co-worker of mine that, yes, his mother probably smells funny.

But enough of that. We’ve got so much to look forward to! I just can’t wait until I get laid off. Then that will free up plenty of time for me to join the Army, since I know without a doubt that business will be booming.

At least I had three good CD’s that came out this year to listen to (Trail of Dead, QOTSA, Sleater-Kinney). Too bad the RIAA will erase my hard drive because they have it on good authority that I might have probably kinda downloaded them off, what’s that thing called? Napster? No, out of business; the RIAA already erased their hard drives. Luckily, with Total Information Awareness, they’ll be able to check my credit card account and see that yes, I did buy those CD’s. Then they can just throw me in jail for something else I did. I’m sure that I already got a red flag on my dossier from not being married, yet ordering a economy sized box of condoms. It says “sexual deviant” right under “doesn’t pay his parking tickets.”

Remember kids, even you can be a cynic. It’s not even hard anymore.

Up until now, the name of this website has been living a filthy life in the language underworld of slang. Not that it hasn’t been a pleasant stay; the words “badass mofo” have kept us real, street-wise. Why, just today I told a meter maid that I was a “badass mofo” and that she needed to “step away from my ride.” She ignored me, but that’s not the point.

The point is, starting today, we’re going legit. Well, halfway..

It’s been uttered by movie stars, appeared on magazine covers and written into song lyrics.

Badass.

It’s just one of the words that has passed the test of appearing five times in five different places over five years and made it into the newest version of the Shorter Oxford English Dictionary (Oxford University Press, $150, 3,984 pages). The newly revised fifth edition of the most definitive text on the English language includes 3,500 such additions and zero removals. The two volumes that make up the dictionary weigh almost 15 pounds and define more than a half-million words.

There’s two ways to deal with this. One way is for the BAMF crew to just lie down and accept our fate as slang has-beens, like “radical mofo” and “groovy mofo,” and start wearing slacks and wingtips to bed at night. The other option is to get more offensive with the site name, such as “cuntcuntcunt.com” or “sexwithjesus.org”; too bad those were former Stileproject network affiliates, so we can’t use the names.

Or, we could just stick it out and wait for our mothers to use “mofo” in a sentence over Sunday dinner.

Advertising is truly a fine art.

Stray dogs are being used as mobile billboards by rival shops in a Russian city.

Shopworkers grab the dogs in the city of Penza after luring them with cutlets or sausages.

They then spray-paint their shop logo on the animal, reports the Molodoy Leninets newspaper.