Author: FaaQ

Family of faggot fans fly the flag

“The nation knows that the Cornish pasty, Yorkshire pudding, haggis and fish and chips are great British dishes, but all too often the faggot is left off that list,” said Janet Doody.

Her husband Fred added: “It’s unfair because faggots were a British delicacy long before any of the others.

“The great British faggot is full of flavour and a great belly warmer at this time of year.”

Are you fucking serious? Give the guy who wrote this a fucking medal for teh funney.

Update: shit, I just realized that this was an article from 2003. Still funny though.

Not as good as his performance on MTV when he pissed in a corner drunk on his scooter, but the Mini-Me sex tape is about to hit!

Oh and for the win, notice the book “The Power of the Actor” in the background. Hahahaha!

I am one of those people who actually goes through the spam filter to see what kinds of crazy shit shows up. Today I was rewarded with a true gem of an email subject line.

Badboner. Awesome.

I mean I for one am totally shocked! SHOCKED! that someone could love cheetos that fucking much.

Because I know you will want more.  Is it just me, or did Bill Murray do the voiceover for this?

Probably. He can nail one while another rides his back.

God I hope they use this.

Political activists planning protest rallies at the upcoming Democratic Convention in Denver have their stomachs in knots over a rumor about a crowd control weapon – known as the “crap cannon” – that might be unleashed against them.

Also called “Brown Note,” it is believed to be an infrasound frequency that debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily.

Mark Cohen, co-founder of Re-create 68, an alliance of local activists working for the protection of first amendment rights, said he believes this could be deployed at the convention in August to subdue crowds.

“We know this weapon and weapons like it have been used at other large protests before,” he said.

Honestly, I’ve never heard of such a device, but I couldn’t think of a better group of people to try it out on if it did exist. I don’t know what the big problem would be anyway, we all know hippies don’t bathe.

Now that’s a headline you don’t see every day.

Having partially developed inside caterpillars, the larvae of the wasps manipulate their hosts into watching over them as a mother or bodyguard might.

A team that has done extensive field studies with infected caterpillars say they have the first conclusive proof that the manipulative behaviour of some parasitoids increases their chance of survival.

The parasitoid wasp Glyptapanteles lays its eggs, about 80 at a time, in young geometrid caterpillars. The eggs hatch and the larvae feed on the caterpillar’s body fluids. When they are fully developed, they eat through the caterpillar’s skin, attach themselves to a nearby branch or leaf and wrap themselves up in a cocoon.

There’s even video.

Someone seems to have figured it out already.

Prepare for the suck.

Like whoa!

MONTERREY, Mexico – A car plowed into a bike race along a highway near the U.S.-Mexico border, killing one and injuring 10 others.

The 28-year-old driver was apparently drunk and fell asleep when he crashed into the race Sunday, police investigator Jose Alfredo Rodriguez said Monday.

A race which appears to have started during daylight hours, and this assclowns already drunk and driving around. Now I know that driving while drunk is a Mexican national hobby, but this guy appears to have been American so we can’t blame it on that.

Because since I don’t have 9 feet of free space available for my wall, I will have to settle on a much smaller limited edition print of He-Mans Battle Cat. Honestly, I think it would look cooler with his armor.

 $225 is a tad bit steep for this. They should just make t-shirts instead. For you GI Joe fans, there is a limited edition Serpentor for sale as well (honestly, we all know that this is when GI Joe jumped the shark).

Other sweet ass discoveries today. Bacon Salt. I’m so on this.