CNN puts out possibly one of the best headlines this year:

Woody Harrelson claims he mistook photographer for zombie

I wrapped a movie called ‘Zombieland,’ in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character,” Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist.

“With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie,” he said.

Yeah I have that problem too, mistaking the living for Zombies. Really, since it’s Woody Harrelson, you really are not that shocked are you? But come on, this isn’t the Dark Knight and Woody isn’t playing the Joker.

Sure why not.

Believe it or not, this is a real movie that someone was paid to make.

If this episode of MTV “Cribs” is any indication. Subtitles provided for those who do not speak “tard”.

I couldn’t help myself with this one.

Bobby Turly – aka Main Beach’s “Parrot Guy” – tells droves of tourists and other passers-by that they’re welcome to gaze at his colorful collection of parrots – on one condition.

“The only charge,” he beams repeatedly, “is leaving with a smile.”

And indeed, group by group, they smile – a family from Canada, another from Kentucky, some from as far away as France.

How sweet, of course that is until

It’s been only two weeks since a hawk swooped down and violently killed Banana as Turly was wrapping up his demonstrations for the afternoon. While still a bit sheepish about the extent of his grief, he admits he’s far from over losing what he called “one of his children.”…

“I saw it swoop in, and it was so fast I didn’t even see it had gotten anything,” she said. “Then it crashed into a window over by the cafe and dropped (Banana).”

“It was absolutely horrible,” said fellow witness Michael Walker of Corona del Mar. “It was like something you’d see on the nature channel.”

Man mother nature’s a bitch.

Seriously wtf.

Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George’s County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com first reported.

The man who called 911 about the incident admitted attaching the sex toy to the saw and then using the high-powered, homemade device on his partner, according to the St. Mary’s County Sheriff’s Office.

The saw cut through the plastic toy and wounded the woman, according to TheBayNet.com. The injuries were severe enough for medevac, but the woman was released from the hospital Monday and is recovering from her unusual injuries.

Lets hope it renders her incapable of breeding.

Sure it’s a good donut, but I’m not buying the hype.

Fuck the Oscars and their gay bullshit weepy crap. This is how you accept an award.

Then you might find something to bid on at the Michael Jackson Nerverland Ranch Auction. There is very little that I would actually want to bid on, let alone allow in my house in that catalog. Though I’m sure some Jesus Juice has been decanted by some of those items.

I nearly shit myself laughing at the stupidity displayed in this video of the NYU “takeover” of a building. I’m pretty sure the “consensus” is that these people are fucking morons with major entitlement issues.  Todays “best and brightest” appear to be full-retard.