Now they are plotting murders:
A man plotted to kill his adoptive parents with the help of a friend he met on the internet, a court has heard.
Christopher Monks, 24, wanted Shaun Skarnes to murder his parents Christopher and Elizabeth Monks while they slept and then perform an extreme sex act on him, Preston Crown Court was told.
The bisexual pair are alleged to have hatched the plot after meeting on an internet site about “Furries” – people who pretend to be animal characters and share sexual role-playing fantasies.
Skarnes, 19, visited Monks’ family home in Preston Road, Clayton-le-Woods, near Chorley, in February after weeks of chatting to him online.
OK so it sounds like typical fur-fag behavior, but wait it gets better:
Mr Watson said Monks had talked about his sexual desire for his penis to be bitten off in online chatroom discussions.
He told the jury: “It may seem extreme that he wanted his penis bitten off, but there is ample evidence from websites he visited and conversations with Shaun Skarnes that this was a deeply held interest and one he found sexually stimulating.
“It seems that Skarnes was to receive no money for killing Mr and Mrs Monks but the prospect of biting off Monks’ penis. This was the climactic act of the conspiracy.”
WTF? Really how do you go from normal quiet kid, to furfag, to cockeating fetishist?
Some ingenious stoner
by FaaQ on July 21, 2009 @ 11:39 am
Has this monkey trained.
“Definitely never been robbed by a monkey before,” says store co-owner Jerry Duncan.
Wrong plant store dude.
Hi Kids
by FaaQ on July 20, 2009 @ 5:36 pm
Pedobear M.D. for the win.
Judgement day postponed
by FaaQ on July 17, 2009 @ 7:33 am
As naked “Terminator” is arrested
A man found naked at a casino claimed he was a Terminator sent from the future.
19-year-old Sean Stanley Smith was arrested on the Nevada border after he was spotted by a motorist wandering around the highway nude. He was ordered by police to stop but proceeded into a nearby casino – where he was then tasered in front of a group of children.
Smith claims he was a Terminator sent back in time from the future – a reference to the film character made popular by Arnold Schwarznegger in the sci-fi franchise. The films usually start with a naked man being transported to the past.
However, it turned out that Smith was not a time-travelling Terminator but was in fact suffering from the effects of LSD and marijuana. He was charged with indecent exposure and resisting a police officer.
Whew, looks like Sarah Connor dodged yet another bullet.
Cthulhu busts a nut
by FaaQ on July 16, 2009 @ 7:38 am
Brower and other borough officials, joined by the U.S. Coast Guard, flew out to Wainwright to investigate. The agencies found “globs” of the stuff floating miles offshore Friday and collected samples for testing.
Later, Brower said, the North Slope team in a borough helicopter spotted a long strand of the stuff and followed it for about 15 miles, shooting video from the air.
The next day the floating substance arrived offshore from Barrow, about 90 miles east of Wainwright, and borough officials went out in boats, collected more samples and sent them off for testing too.
<!–
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–>Nobody knows for sure what the gunk is, but Petty Officer 1st Class Terry Hasenauer says the Coast Guard is sure what it is not.
“It’s certainly biological,” Hasenauer said. “It’s definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.
The new GM = Gay Motors?
by FaaQ on @ 6:47 am
beefcake camaro washing boytoys pimping for GM. Yeah that’s gonna work.
For a local movie promotion a week ago aimed at gay buyers, General Motors’ Chevrolet sponsored an online video on YouTube featuring the “Bumble Bee Boys in Briefs” — a couple of buff “go-go boys” wearing only Speedo-type swimsuits with the letters CAMARO stitched across the behind. In the video, they are washing a Camaro.
Does anyone really thing gays are rushing out for the new Camaro? Everyone knows its either a Saab or a Chrysler Sebring convertible that are the go-to gaymobiles.
Subtle references that will be lost on 90% of viewers
by FaaQ on July 15, 2009 @ 9:55 am
Much like the beloved Liz Lemon Party quip from 30 Rock, this reference to two girls one cup on a local news affiliate will probably be unnoticed by the 80-something crowd that still watches local TV News.
What could possibly go wrong?
by FaaQ on July 14, 2009 @ 9:58 am
with a robot that eats the dead?
A Maryland company under contract to the Pentagon is working on a steam-powered robot that would fuel itself by gobbling up whatever organic material it can find — grass, wood, old furniture, even dead bodies.
Robotic Technology Inc.’s Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot — that’s right, “EATR” — “can find, ingest, and extract energy from biomass in the environment (and other organically-based energy sources), as well as use conventional and alternative fuels (such as gasoline, heavy fuel, kerosene, diesel, propane, coal, cooking oil, and solar) when suitable,” reads the company’s Web site.
That “biomass” and “other organically-based energy sources” wouldn’t necessarily be limited to plant material — animal and human corpses contain plenty of energy, and they’d be plentiful in a war zone.
Yeah there’s a good idea. Robots that eat biomass. I take it no one in the Pentagon has seen a sci-fi flick in the last 20 years.
I bet he spanked it to them before
by FaaQ on July 7, 2009 @ 8:16 am
A teenage boy who tried to sell naked photos of his mother online was praised by her and given more pictures to sell.
Michael, an 18-year-old from New Zealand, was ordered to clear out the garage by his mother Jennifer, 44.
But while sulking and cleaning he came across some “artistic” photos of his mother. But instead of recoiling and burning them he posted them on online trading site TradeMe with the title, “5 naked photos of my mum”.
If his actions weren’t strange enough when Jennifer found out she didn’t castigate him or scold him, she gave him some more pics to sell.
“He was quite naughty … I thought ‘you cheeky little git’, but at least he’d been a bit creative about it,” said Jennifer.
But the money-making scheme was foiled when TradeMe pulled the auction, much to the chagrin of Jennifer.
“I wanted 50 per cent of the sale, but more than that I miss the nice comments.”
Of course no pix or it didn’t happen. Oh wait.
Can’t link directly to the video, but McDonald’s one-ups the Popeyes and KFC madness of late with launching not only a site dedicated to black people and their love of McNuggets, but Kieth Sweat makes a special apperance to sing a love song for the McNugget 25th Anniversery. Everyone knows I’m keen on love songs, so it was a perfect fit for me to write a love song for the 25th anniversary of Chicken McNuggets. I was honored to have the opportunity to share some of my creative talent with McDonald’s. It was great working with them on this project – I’ve grown up with McDonald’s and was happy to be a part of it. Hahahaha. Dude must owe some serious cash to someone. Man I’m lovin it.Don’t be stingaayyy!
by FaaQ on April 29, 2009 @ 1:30 pm