AS SEEN ON TV

A 15-year-old Washington state boy suffered serious burns when he set himself on fire trying to re-enact a stunt similar to those from MTV’s controversial show “Jackass,” though an MTV spokesperson noted the stunt the boy tried had never appeared on the show or in the recent movie based on the show.

The boy from the Seattle suburb of Bellevue, Washington, soaked his shirt in rubbing alcohol late on Friday and ignited it while his friends stood by with a video camera shooting footage they planned to sell, police and local media reported. [Linkage]

In other news, I am suing the Washington state police department for assault. Well, they didn’t actually assault me, I wrecked on my bike, but my injuries are similar to those inflicted by Washington state police in other assault cases, so I don’t really see why they can’t share some of the blame.

Just when is our society going to realize that mankind has been doing stupid shit since the beginning of, err, mankind? Just look at disco, or the crusades. Or look at what this kid told the police:

After suffering first-degree burns over his face and upper body, the teen-ager initially told police that someone had set his clothes on fire while he walked on a trail after attending a high school football game

I am assuming that when he thought this story up he was planning on crossing the “how the fuck did you get saturated in rubbing alcohol” bridge later. I tell you, I have crossed some pretty dangerous bridges in my day, such as “you didn’t happen to driving down this road with someone riding on your hood, did you?” and “then why does your breath SMELL like alcohol?”, but I can thankfully say that the “doused in rubbing alcohol” is one I have never faced.

Yes, my friends, and I can assure you, even if you did manage to cross that one, your shirt would still be wet.

Published
Categorized as News

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *