Mid-Albertsons Pondering

So I’m in the checkout line getting ready to purchase my laundry detergent, comestibles, and a couple of those Krispy Kreme doughnuts (fuckers get me every time) and the chick in front of me is a cute lil’ asian with a couple of juice bottles. I notice as she picks up one of those weekly horoscope booklets that they put out specific to your birth sign or whatever. Personally I couldn’t give a shit what my sign is, I only know it so I can spew it out whenever a girl asks because they seem to believe that shit has something to do with whether or not you are someday “marriage material”, which is the magical key into their pants, no matter what they say.

So back to the story. As I sit and ponder why the stupid fuck in the front who can’t figure out the credit card machine isn’t already dead, cremated, and fed to the rest of us via SPAM, I notice out of the corner of my eye that the lil’ asian cutie is getting a little shifty. She looks left. She looks right. She looks straight up as she deposits said horoscope book right into her purse.

A trifle baffling to me, as I would imagine that the whole “horoscope” bullshit would carry with it some semblence of karma. How exactly do you put so much faith into that superstitious crap that you feel the need to shoplift a 99 cent booklet? That’s kind of like stealing a bible, I think somewhere along the line it’s going to bite you in the ass, provided that you have chosen the right path.