Celebration Of Our American Imperialism

You know that we are living…
in a material world…
and I am a material girl!
But uh… do as I say, not as I do.

Madonna told the Radio Times that Americans had opportunities people in other countries did not have but got caught up in superficial dreams.

“We as Americans are completely obsessed and wrapped up in a lot of the wrong values — looking good, having cash in the bank, being perceived as rich, famous and successful or just being famous,” Madonna told the television listings magazine.

“It’s the most superficial part of the American dream and who would know better than me? The only thing that’s going to bring you happiness is love and how you treat your fellow man and having compassion for one another.”

When our BAMF reporters caught up with Madonna, we poised the obvious question: “In light of these statements, would you now consider ditching the rock star lifestyle that the self-obsessed American culture has afforded you, instead opting for surviving on love and compassion for your fellow man?”

The Material Girl replied simply “You know, I could do that, but I think I’ll stick with rolling around on the floor like a harlot in a skintight outfit until I’m a grandmother so that I can sell my albums to the last few remaining people that think I’m sexy. Oh, and be sure to catch me on Will & Grace this week on NBC! MP3s are bad, capitalist pigs!”

In the spirit of being a pig, why not sign up for a free subscription to Maxim?