Sorry guys, she’s not a lesbian

Just got this from our soon-to-be-resident MoFo Norstrin.

[19:40] Norstrin: they make pregnant barbies (i only know this because a toys r us commercial was just on)
[19:41] BAMF Jacko: wow, so ken has a dick after all
[19:41] Norstrin: the question being: is this ‘unwanted pregnancy teenslut barbie’ or ‘ken fucked barbie up the ass and the best part ran down the crack into her crack ho box barbie’?

Valid question I suppose. It gets worse.

[19:42] Norstrin: well, at least it’ll be anatomically correct: she’ll have gramma panties

That is wrong on so many levels that I can’t really go in to right now.

You see, here is a look at the kind of shit that I’m doing right now, I am quite occupied making sure my body doesn’t decapitate itself out of sheer embarassment:

me: *dials software engineer*
me: “yea, I have a quick question about your code, you declare: blic class name {, wtf does ‘blic’ mean?
engineer: “uh, hmm, what?”
me: *realizes that my editor is scrolled over two columns, and ‘blic’ is actually public*”uh, shit.”

Hey, at least I got in on the water.

Update, even though no one has read this post yet: Apparently, the doll comes with a youngun that fits inside of her fucking tummy, complete with wedding ring:

Barbie doll’s friend,Midge, is having a baby! With this gift set, girls have everything theyneed to play out the arrival of a new baby. Baby doll fits inside Mommydoll’s tummy. When it’s nap time, baby’s changing table magicallytransforms into a rocking crib. Includes Midge doll, wedding ring,earrings and shoes plus baby plus accessories.

[20:14] Norstrin: https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B000083E0C/qid=1049940831/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_1/104-7036713-5116703?v=glance&s=toys&n=507846
[20:14] Norstrin: it also comes in african american
[20:14] Norstrin: (i don’t think anything needs to be said about the last one, what with no male doll being included)

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10 comments

  1. See:THIS IS THE MOST UNIQUE DOLL I’VE EVERY SEEN. MY 3 YR OLD SON IS FASCINATED WITH HER BELLY AND THE BABY. HE LIKES IT BECAUSE MIDGE, ALAN AND RYAN, AND BABY ARE A FAMILY! MOST KIDS (BOYS AND GIRLS)LEARN NURTURING SKILLS FROM PLAYING WITH DOLLS. THERE ARE MANY LITTLE PIECES TO PUT OUT OF REACH FROM SMALL CHILDREN, BUT THESE ARE WONDERFUL FOR THE OLDER CHILD OR GROWNUP!! A VERY EDUCATIONAL AND FUN DOLL TO PLAY WITH. GET THE WHOLE HAPPY FAMILY, I DID!

  2. Gotta get more realisticDo does the new baby come with an alarm function that goes off at random times of the day/night so you won’t get a decent bit of sleep for at least the first few months?- father of three

  3. that’s a direct quoteyeah i know it’s rare for some of us to read the whole article, but that was a direct quote and the quote was in CAPS

  4. Lucky BastardThat lucky bastard Ken is getting it from all directions… first he is getting like 900 different Barbii clones, now hes banging this Midge chick and her black cousin… too bad he has no dick.

  5. hmmMakes you wonder how Ken knocks em up. Some kind of \”Super Spooge Squirting Action\”? Maybe an \”Artificial Insemination Playkit.\” And who knows, maybe \”Back Alley Abortion Barbie\” is next, complete with boot and hanger with mustard on it.

  6. well… So does this mean the doll has realistic anatomy, what with the \”Baby doll fitting inside Mommydoll’s tummy\”? If so, I encourage kids to launch marbles out of her kooch.

  7. If only…operation_ass’ parents had shelled out the extra cash for the auto-destruct option. It’s standard in Volvo children. Clearly Canadians are behind the curve of Swedish innovation.

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