It’s Like A Warm, Musky Blanket Of Comfort

Proud Moments In French Military HistoryBefore today, I was lost in a sea of tumultuous confusion and fright. What will happen to the world in the face of this new war? Where can we look for comfort and security in these uncertain times? Well, my prayers have been answered… in French. Because our old buddies the French have pledged that if Sadaam starts nuking or nerve-gassing anyone in the next few weeks, they might reconsider their ‘anti-war’ stance. Thank God, we’re saved.

“If the war starts and if (President) Saddam Hussein uses chemical or biological weapons, it would change completely the situation for the French president and for the French government, and President (Jacques) Chirac will have to decide what we will do to help the American troops to confront this new situation.

I feel so much better. That’s enough for me, screw the Freedom Fries, and stop pouring that Merlot down the sewer drain. Back to loving the French, like the lovable cowardly lion of the world. Well, more like his one-legged cousin, you cheese loving little rascals.

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Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.

23 comments

  1. pleaseCome on, you’re being so narrow-sighted. They’ll also help us be rude to Americans, as well as give us valuable non-bathing advice.

  2. But…You fellas are missing the big picture. We get their help in these crucial matters you’ve discussed IF and ONLY IF Sadaam starts nuking/gassing folks. And even then, they have to \”think about it\”.*crosses fingers* pleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease

  3. Go France!I applaud the French actions of protest against unilateral power. American arrogance has reached its peak, and only a long painful war against Iraq will show that we cannot enforce our will upon all the people of the world. [url]http://www.idleworm.com/nws/2002/11/iraq2.shtml [/url]

  4. how about…Can I interest you in some authentic French military rifles? They’ve never been fired and only dropped once!

  5. july 4thSo do you guys all spend a moment of reflection on july 4th and thank the French for saving your ass that time? Maybe think a bit about how long you chewed your fingernails in WW2? Maybe think about how if you’d joined in at the start instead of waiting for war to be declared upon you, you could have saved a lot of lives?

  6. hehWhy would they have joined earlier ? They would have only caused an equal amount of casualties that they would be stopping in the first place (if american’s are famous for one thing it is friendly fire). Check out some statistics on friendly fire in vietnam or WW2, americans = teh suq

  7. scum …So the french helped us in the War for Independence. They were decidedly NOT on our side in the French and Indian war, and then we saved their asses in BOTH world wars. Don’t make me point out that the french haven’t won a war since gunpowder was invented. So lick my France-saving, American ass.

  8. panchoThe Canadians had more to do with winning WW1 than the US and the Russians won the second world war, not the US. If Germany hadn’t declared war on the US in 41, they might never have joined at all. Just admit that you like being rascist, life’s more fun when you’ve got somebody who makes you feel superior. Stop letting Rupert Murdoch and your half-wit president brainwash you. Read a book. Form your own opinion.

  9. actuallyPancho man, ever heard of a guy named Napolean? Granted, the guy was an Italian (last name used to be Bonaparte, but changed it to fit into french artistocracy).Not defending them, their best general was a paisano (I can say that), they smell, and they’re rude, but hey, they have an opinion, I can almost respect that.

  10. Hey!Scum, I like you man :), a historical voice in this forum full of Murdoch following O’Reilly \”no spin\” neo-conservatives.

  11. want a factCanadians may have helped more in WWI but the only reason Stalin stopped in WWII is because of the US and Britain. And the little thing called the A-bomb also put some fear into our old commie friends. America freed half of Europe for the time being from a tyrant and then freed the other half of Europe 50 years later after we won the cold war. But don’t thank us, just protest in the tens of millions over every move we make. You have to remember, we don’t think your completely wrong, just misguided. There is a reason why Kuwait allows over 100,000 US troops and it ain’t because they love war.Anyone notice how the countries who were just under tyrants in eastern europe support the US in Iraq while western Europe who we helped free 55 years ago now just hates us? You have got to hate the free lovin hippie nature that causes tyrants to gain control. South Korea’s youth may get a quick lesson on their sunshine policy if American troops leave.As for the UN, good job on Rwanda you slow movin bastards. Even the US couldn’t move fast enough to save 800,000 people. And only because the Clinton pushed so hard that we saved hundreds of thousands of MUSLIMS from CHRISTIANS in Kosova. But please, don’t thank us, we are the ultimate evil. I’m sure oil was in kosova, right?

  12. O_Oin our next show France vs Italy.who will surrender first. Tune in next time on, War of the Gimp.Makes no sense, but don’t argue with a man who has been drinking for 5 hours, Viva la Bicarde

  13. Hold on.I like America and I like most of the Americans that I’ve met. I just don’t like rascists and I don’t like people who try to demonize those who disagree with their own point of view. If you think that defending somebody’s right to freedom of life and expression is a good reason to go to war, then why are you denying France’s right to express it’s own moral concerns about an attack by a superpower against a third world country?The US cannot lose this \”war\” in the short term. The last gulf war was perhaps the most one-sided figth in the history of warfare, and it’s not going to be any different next time. The US does not need France’s military help (or anyone else’s for that matter), but it’s going to find the real war starts when the firing stops. Suddenly, the fact that a 20 stone wrestler has just beaten a 6 year old girl to death is going to be grotesquely apparent to the whole world.At that point in time, the bully is going to find that friends are hard to come by.I think Saddam is a bad man and I won’t shed a tear if he’s killed, but if you think that this war is about altruism, world peace or national security or if you think that Iraq is capable of levelling a serious threat to the world in any way, then you have been brainwashed.

  14. Maybe you should hold onMaybe Frances moral concern stops with ELF Energy International of France who erected that fine 1.7 billion dollar refinery in Iraq. And that was just for the infrastructure. Maybe we should talk of the French morays in West Africa Particularly in the Ivorian Coast didn’t see them in the UN asking anyone for permission. Lastly lets discuss our friends ELF in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Let’s see… war torn country (france supplied the arms), Bank Pariba officers at the world bank controlling the currency and access to capital and ELF controlling the Oil No repairs to schools hospitals roads infrastrucure nothing but ELF and bank Pariba certainly got their money out. You getting this yet.Thank God the power of Texaco finally kick your funky french asses out for at least the off shore exploitation. I was part of the engineering team that developed it. Sum total = France dealings in Iraq was a direct result of getting it ass collectively kicked out of markets it colonialized. But then again what do they have there, rocks and grapes. The only thing the French are reasonable good at is trying to create a dominance over the U.S. Sorry you missed again

  15. please…Lets not forget the great Rockefellar influence in Chile in the early 70’s that brought the american sanctioned assasination of the Chilean president… The CIA assasinations of Iranian student revolutionary’s attempting to bring their nation into the democratic forum (we later installed the shah again..), in order to maintain normal relations (ie Oil trade). The guy we pumped up to fight Iran soon after said revolution (hmm, what was his name, OH, SADDAM, thats right!).ORRRR, the fact that Haliburton and Other chief GOP contributer companies will soon be running Iraq’s infrastructure, and control of the Oil.Like we’ve never done it? Stop being a patsy, do some damn research…

  16. I’m gettin pleased as we speak…Dew We’ve done that an more…Remember Moussadic?We sent the Shah on a beautful Venezuelan vacaction and when he returned iran was his. Sorry son no patsy here but a realist. An in the corporate circle its do or be done. you French pansy cheeze eatin fucks like to talk like they have never played in the area.Its time you realize it takes more than your daddys credit card to fill up you prizm. Real men pay prices

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