Dude, You’re Makin’ My Monday!

I’ll bet you’re sitting at your desk right now, loathing the fact that you have to sit in a cubicle so close to that cockmaster who likes to come by every Monday and talk to you about his obviously falsified weekend of debauchery, when all you really want is to grab your fucking coffee, read a few websites, and stave off your urges to murder every fucking person within your field of vision. Well, psycho, I’ve got something that might cheer you up. “Steven The Dell Dude” is in jail. Yeah, it’s like porn on a Friday afternoon, isn’t it? Calm as an empty toilet.

Hey, dude, you’re getting a cell! Benjamin Curtis, the 22-year old actor who portrays “Steven,” the Dell Guy, in those bothersome computer commercials, was arrested late last night (2/9) on a marijuana possession charge, The Smoking Gun has learned. According to cops, Curtis was holding a “small bag of marijuana” when he was popped on Manhattan’s Lower East Side (at Ludlow and Rivington for you Gothamites). Curtis is currently being held in Central Booking and is scheduled to be arraigned later today in Manhattan Criminal Court. Curtis, who lives in lower Manhattan, was charged with criminal possession of marijuana, a misdemeanor. Bonnie Shumofsky, the actor’s agent, said she was unaware of her client’s bust when contacted this morning by TSG.

I know, it’s just a pot bust, which makes it funnier to pick on since we all probably figured that another web icon would be the first to go down on a drug charge. Oh well. The thing is, Steven hasn’t been in Dell’s latest round of ads, so it’s not like we needed this to get rid of him. This is kind of like kicking a guy when he’s down, really. It’d be downright mean to do a ‘Shop job at this point.

…so I’m mean. That’s an understatement, isn’t it? Normally I’m spitting fire and burning villages on Monday mornings. Maybe I need a cup of coffee.