Just in case some of you give a shit about gaming news, the amazingly amazing bonus disc that comes with the Japanese version of the new Gamecube Zelda has been officially confirmed by Nintendo to be included in the March 24th stateside release, provided you pre-order the game. This, I guess, is the official official announcement, rather than the just plain official announcement that took place last week, and the unofficial announcement the week before that. We won’t even get into the official rumor dates, because honestly, it’s just backstage politics. What that means, I have no idea. But it sounds good, so we’ll leave it at that.
Now on to my thoughts on the latest installment of Lord Of The Rings, just because I know you’ll sit here and read it. *Ahem* I do apologize to the hardcore nerds out there who reminded me that it was Shelob, not Ungoliant, who should’ve been at the end of the film. You proud nitpickers should be proud of yourselves. Your selfless act of forgoing any kind of sexual contact with females in exchange for your useless database of knowledge is a constant reminder to us all that excellence can and must be achieved. That said, let’s get into the nitty gritty.
First off, I think that the flick could’ve been better, and I don’t remember thinking that after seeing Fellowship for the first time. There were differences in character development, and added/removed scenes that I found to be baffling. First of all, I always saw Theoden as more of a kick-ass-now-take-names-later kind of king, at least after Wormtongue was outta the picture. Now he’s kind of wishy-washy, and that frankly makes me sad in the pants. Secondly, Bolt Boy brought up the fact that Faramir was certainly not so power hungry in the book. He didn’t have the same kind of weakness towards the ring that Boromir had, and that was what made him so cool later on in Return Of The King.
Next up, the additions. Am I wrong, or was the whole battle where Aragorn fell off the cliff not even in the Goddamn book? That’s valuable minutes that could be spent showing something that was actually in the book, Jackson. Not to mention the Arwen stuff, which no doubt everyone thinks could be toned down at least a bit. I’m not objecting to her role in the film, I think it adds to the quality of the movie. But for God’s sake, it was boring. Boring boring boring. Get on the boat, don’t get on the boat. What the fuck ever. Personally, if I were Aragorn I’d say screw the chick who can’t make up her mind, I’ve got a girl who could kick Rambo’s ass ready to mouthify my wang without so much as a cup of coffee. Besides, she’s probably a bobcat in the sack. And there’s no possibility that she’ll be bitching and moaning about how she wasted eternity to watch your ass get fatter, and no need to deal with crabby parents with bushy eyebrows, because they’re dead! *Sigh*, although Liv would be hard to get over, I think the money that comes from knocking up the neice of Rohan’s king would help me get over it, especially once I’m a king and can give any passing concubine the “royal treatment”.
By the way, from the trailer it really looked like Legolas was sliding down the stairs on the soles of his feet, not fucking “Elf Snowboarding”. Fucking misleading advertisements.
Aside from the aforementioned drawbacks, and the extremely choppy beginning, I still think that it was a great film. The problem with liking a film such as this is that you have way too much room to nitpick. That’s why I still assert that I loved the movie. The cgi was great (except the hobbits on the shoulders of the Ents) especially Gollum. I was fucking flabbergasted at how well they portrayed Gollum, especially the duality of the character. Unfortunately the creepy arguments between himself and uh.. himself came off more slapstickish than frightening, as evidenced by the roaring laughter by the crowd. But still, he is a pinnacle in the realm of cg-created actors. The acting was pretty damned good too, and the battle scene nearly had me peeing in my seat. Well, that, and the twelve cokes I had standing in line all day.
To recap: Gimli as mere comedic relief – bad. Gollum, Gollum, Gollum – good. I guess since everyone and their mother seemed to adore the film, I figured I should highlight a few of the imperfections that made it seem a little less grand to me than the first one. I’m sure the special edition DVD will help out with this, but in the meantime I think I’ll still enjoy seeing it in the theatre another dozen times.
The thing isThis is how Peter Jackson is interpreting the books. A project like this is hard as hell and I’d rather put up with an extra battle, a little different character development, and some other book stuff taken out to get at least a decent portrayal of the books. And the first movie raised everyone’s expectations really high, especially since people didn’t know what to expect when they saw it. I did have pretty much the same problems with this one that you did, but I don’t really care.
lord of the rings 2the movie was great, yet i had some problems:1) gandalf charging into the orcs with his blinding white light.. it was the same light going both ways… it would of blinded the orcs and the humans ;p 2) the film cut out way too many important quick-scenes that show detail. such as the scene in the trailer with a line of elvin warrriors toss up their blades all at the same time and you see the blades tossing up down the line…. Such things that made the trailer yet didnt make the film. lame. the film ended poorly. it cut off the mage’s tower too quickly. leaving the ents and 2 hobbits out in the dark.there’s more, just cant think of it.
white lightI thought the white light was the sunrise coming over the hill because they attacked from the east (sun rises in the east). I took it as a brilliant battle strategy.
to ghyenThe scene where the elves fishhook the orcs down the line is actually from the Prologue of the story, in the Massive battle scene \”3000 years\” before the current story and was in LoTR:FoTR. It was not supposed to be in the Helms deep battle.Check it out here: http://www.lordoftherings.net/effects/index.html
Maybe it’s just me, but…Gollum had a striking resemblance to Don Knotts did he not? I don’t know, maybe I’m losing my mind, but the first thing I thought when they showed Gollum was that they stole Don Knotts’s face.
Couldn’t agree moreI found myself at a loss because read the book about a week ago and have since forgot most of the details of it and their are extra stories not included in the main books that have been compiled in some versions of the books, so I could never be sure if they were totally pulling shit out of their ass. In anycase I think once I’ve forgotten more of the book this movie will be restored from good status to great.