Simple Math

Hey, Asians are good at math right? (Hooray stereotypes!) Here’s an equation that popped into my head as soon as I saw the two following stories, both posted on the same day.

Numero Uno: [ Train molestation ruling overturned in high court ]

The man was arrested and held in custody for 92 days after a 19-year-old woman accused him of making her feel his private parts on a train on the Seibu Shinjuku Line on the morning of Dec. 5, 2000. He was later convicted by the Tokyo District Court and sentenced to 14 months imprisonment.

Numero Dos: [ Gov’t official arrested for high school girl train groping ]

The official fondled the thigh of an 18-year-old high school girl who sat next to him on a Hankyu Railway Kyoto Line train on the night of last Sunday, police said. He attempted to escape after the train stopped at Takatsuki Station in Osaka Prefecture, but a station staffer subdued him and handed him over to police.

Damned Japanese. It’s so simple and it’s right in front of your face.

Teenage Girls + Trains + Drunk Guys = Molestations

So it’s pretty damned simple. You can’t get rid of drunk guys, because they fuel the economy. You can’t get rid of trains, because they take the drunks to work. So the solution is this: get rid of your luscious teenaged girls. As a pre-emptive measure, I have set up a foundation to help your country get back into good moral standing. Please ship all available hot chicks under the age of 20 to:

Save The Pecan Pie Foundation
C/O The MoFo Den
Irvine, CA
USA

Please include SASE (proper postage required) for return of merchandise once it reaches the age of 20. Please allow 6-8 weeks for delivery.

Published
Categorized as News

By Sharkey

I run bamf.

4 comments

  1. *high fives all arounditll be like one giant episode of sailor moon except i wont feel so dirty when i watch it!

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