What Took Her So Long? :Rimshot:

Well tarnation, it looks like lil’ 16-year-old Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant. Mama Spears must be happy, as this franchise just seems to keep paying off in spades. Just think of how much Britney merchandise will be worth once she’s overdosed or gone on a shooting spree in K-Fed’s dance studio?

Lynne Spears, already grandmother to Britney’s young sons, told the magazine: “I didn’t believe it because Jamie Lynn’s always been so conscientious. She’s never late for her curfew. I was in shock. I mean, this is my 16-year-old baby.”

She said her actress daughter, the telegenic heroine of her popular Nickelodeon series, has known Aldridge for years and began dating him in high school.

But in a recent interview with The Associated Press, Spears said she had no steady boyfriend. “I kind of just keep my options open,” she said. “I have a bunch of friends that I always hang out with, a bunch of guy friends.” She declined to talk about her older sister.

You’ve gotta wonder if they decided she shouldn’t talk about Britney because it would be “harmful to her career” to associate with statutory rape, or if the pregnant underaged trailer-park-raised “casual dater” just waved the reporters off and scoffed “Jesus, don’t even get me started on that disaster.”