(Note: to precur any suspicions of falsehoods in the information contained in this post, I assure you up front that I have throughly checked the following for typographical errors and mis-typed statements. I also did not make it up.)
[She can’t cut you off is she doesn’t know where you are getting it]
A Modesto man has died after his wife held him down and bit him repeatedly when he refused to have sex with her, police said.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
*feeble attempt to catch breath*
Ahahaahahahahaahahhahahaha!
*regaining some composure*
That’s too bad. If he could have hung on another week he might have gotten a free taco.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
…