Who Trolls The Trollsmen?

I’ve heard a lot of buzz surrounding this little article over on VG Resource, which discusses a Gamespot review of Zelda: Twilight Princess that was not as favorable as most people would have liked. The big fella gives Link’s latest outing an 8.8, which was received rather poorly by the rabid masses. A lot of curse words were thrown around, the reviewer’s Wikipedia entry was repeatedly vandalized, and a lot of comments were made regarding his heritage and girth.

The initial article is a well thought-out little piece on how it seems that opinions no longer matter on the Internet. It is suggested that these days, agreeing with the masses is more important than formulating your own conclusions. Dare I say, that the author insinuates for just a moment that the Internet is almost entirely comprised of a bunch of mob-mentality cretins who viciously troll any sort of opinion that would have the audacity to directly contrast their own?

Wow. It’s a real fucking think piece.

Don’t get me wrong, the guy has a point regarding the nature of these trolls, and how they essentially invalidate the opportunities that the Internet represents. They destroy any ability for opinions or intellectual debate to take place by angrily seeking retribution against anyone who opposes their beliefs.

To the author I say this: Guess what numbnuts, those trolls are the internet. They are humanity. And you are an idiot for expecting anything more.

Let me break it down for you in simple terms. The trolls across the internet are a direct representation of what humans would be like if there were no consequences for their actions, and they didn’t really have to fear getting their asses kicked for acting like a complete fuckwit. It’s the truth, and you know it. If there were no police, no rules, and complete anonymity in real life… there would be a lot more atomic wedgies taking place across the globe. Definitely more murder and rape as well, if the forums are any indication. So arguing that humans, when given this sort of freedom, should do anything but act like… well, humans? That’s just as illogical as the troll mentality itself. This is the way humans are. You seem to think that we’re some enlightened race that allows anyone to state an opinion, engage in a reasonably intelligent debate, and never fear persecution for it. But if it doesn’t happen in real life, why the Hell would it happen online?

It’s like arguing with a woman when she tells you that she “feels” angry at you for something that doesn’t make any fucking sense. She’s a woman. They don’t ever make any fucking sense, they only feel. A lot. So just say “I’m sorry you feel that way” and go have a fucking beer.