January Sucks

Half the damned people I know were born in January. What the shit is that? I’m going to get a few birthday wishes out of the way here, because I want to mock some people and the respective anniversaries of their dates of birth seems to be an appropriate time for such endeavors.

• Raygun – Today is his actual birthday, so hit up the forums and pick on his temporarily de-modded ass. Then watch Trial of Raygun and remember the good ol’ days. Or the low budget ol’ days, whatever.
• Floyd – Today is Floyd’s birthday, and he’s supplied me with slices, news, and more A/V hookups in my life than I knew what to do with. He was also prominently featured in one of our banner ads, which he graciously forgave me for.
• Bud – Budley is one of my only friends to successfully procreate, and considering my friends… I’m grateful for that fact. Still, Bud is an evil man, which is why he gets a belated birthday greeting. I’m taking one back for Lincoln.
• Mr Mabs – Our wayward director of online content is also a proud parent, and living out in the boonies somewhere. Hopefully his kid has shoes. Happy belated birthday, until you move back to civilization, you’re a complete fucking hick my friend.
• Billy Ray – Billy Ray isn’t for another couple of days, but I may as well get it out of the way now. He’s got baby fever, which I find hilarious, because the man should really learn to chug a Goddamned beer before he tries his hand at procreating. If you’re not man enough to pound, you’re not man enough to parent, in my opinion.

Alright, now stop getting older you fuckers. I can only muster up the initiative to say Happy Birthday every so often.