The award for Holy Shit I’m A Fucking Idiot goes to… *cuts open envelope*
USA TODAY — POCONO PINES, Pa. — One person’s reject can be someone else’s fortune. Just ask newly rich Paula Buckley. Buckley, 21, a deli clerk at Pen Mart, bought a $10 Power Play ticket because a customer rejected it. Then she hit the $400,000 jackpot. Powerball tickets can’t be reissued the way other lottery tickets can, said lottery spokeswoman Sally Danyluk Buckley learned she had won Monday morning. ”I ran the ticket through the machine and it said, ‘Do Not Pay’ because it was a $400,000 winner, and we cannot pay those out at the store,” she said. The machine chose the numbers.
Congratulations, guy (or girl) who turned down that lottery ticket. Prepare for the most painful years of your life to date. If impotency wasn’t a problem before, well, you might want to invest in one of those Viagra cutters that Jacko previously discussed. Enjoy your award, you’ve earned it.
*claps* Let’s keep the acceptance speech to a minimum, got me?
