Month: December 2004

Whats wrong with this picture? (thanks Bongweasel)

Hey, if you’re going to be a stupid criminal, at the very least, be original. Unlike this fellow.

MILWAUKEE (AP) — Call it the case of the perfect clue. A man handed a note demanding money to a teller at the Wells Fargo Bank Thursday, took the money and fled.

Left behind was the note — written on the back of a paper from the state probation and parole department, complete with the man’s name on it, Deputy Police Chief Brian O’Keefe said Friday.

We’ve done this story already. Multiple times, kids. There was the guy that wrote the demands on his resume. Another guy did it on like the back of a bill. I think one stupid son of a bitch did it on the back of his birth certificate, which was stapled to his drivers license, two credit cards, and a printout of Mapquest directions to his house.

Honestly, just once I’d like to hear something creative coming out of the stupid criminal industry. Like a guy trying to mug Mike Tyson with a spork. I’d clap at that guy’s wake, that nigga had balls and a spark of imagination.

OH NOS! Hollywood royalty having marital problems? Scandalavisciousness!

Actress Jennifer Aniston has fuelled speculation her marriage to Brad Pitt is in turmoil – by taking off her wedding ring.

Rumours the relationship is deteriorating were first sparked during filming of Mr and Mrs Smith this summer when Pitt was romantically linked to his co-star Angelina Jolie.

The ex-Friends star added to the gossip by cancelling the Troy hunk’s 41st birthday party she’d agreed to host, weeks after reports she refused to have his first child.

Can you smell it? I can smell it. Space dust from the tail of a magical flying unicorn. That can only mean one thing:

Fly! You hear me, you magical son of a bitch? Fly!

So I had a request from Qrunchi, who sent in a few images to entice me towards the direction of Melissa George. It worked. It worked quite well. She was in the movie Dark City, and on the show “Alias”. She’s also pretty Goddamned hot. So I suggest that you enjoy her gallery. Wang in hand, you enjoy it. Lest the forces of darkness consume your soul!

Who else could use another drink?

Check out his latest release. And you guys thought he was going to Law School. Sheet negro, he just branching out in all kinds of new directions.My personal favorite: I got my pants on…(all by my self)

Another one bites the dust. Seems like the MPAA went on a holiday rampage, destroying all of the large-scale Bittorrent websites, most notably Suprnova. Others like torrentbits.org and dvd-core.org also got hit.

I guess until we get a 100% decentralized version of Bittorrent (ie: no need for a website or servers to host the .torrent files) or a comparible alternative, we’re pretty much going to have to scrape around the Internet like rats. Rats who really like movies, but not paying for them. But we still like cheese, you know, because it’s delicious.

Alright, c’mon now kiddies. It’s your last week to help out with the BAMF Child’s Play Fundraiser. Which ought to be the BAMF-Attempts-To-Buy-Its-Way-Out-Of-Hell by helping out Penny Arcade’s Childs Play charity….. fundraiser… thing.

So anyway, the running tally so far (including our initial donation that got these shenanigans started) is around $1,300. Pretty respectable for a bunch of Hellworthy sons of bitches like ourselves, and more than enough to earn the No-Newbie-New-Year that I promised in the forums.

Like I said, this is the last week. The deadline for donations is Wednesday, because after that I’ve got to organize all the cash and get you bastards started on the No-newbie goodness. So if you’re looking to help out, and you needed a last-minute cattle-prod to the ass, consider yourself gently seared.

I knew the child-support system in America was fucked, I just didn’t realize that it had gotten to this level. (shamelessly stolen from the forums)

Last week, Viola Trevino carried her 5-year-old “daughter” into an Albuquerque (search) court to satisfy a judge’s demand to produce the child.

Complications arose.

One: Trevino had kidnapped the child moments before to pass off as her daughter. Two: the “real” daughter never existed. Three: the “father” and ex-husband Steve Barreras had paid $20,000 in child support. Four: the system finally noticed Trevino was lying.

Women like this need to be made an example of. If more cases like this start popping up, the child welfare system will be reformed too much, making it much harder on children who deserve the money.

Ladies, if you don’t want any negative press to start swarming around one of your best sources of income, lynch this bitch before she does any more damage. And stop thinking about doing this sort of thing yourself, you’re only making it easier for men (like me) to swing the bat of justice towards your awaiting jaw.

I feel bad for poor Kate Beckinsale. She’s been getting a lot of bad press surrounding her formerly flawless mamms, and to be quite honest, she doesn’t really deserve it. She’s had a kid, she’s entitled to have stretch marks and whatnot. Frankly speaking, she’s one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, on or off the screen, and the fact that she’s getting flack regarding some of her greatest assets just makes me a little frowny. …on the inside.

On the other hand, if you want to bash her acting abilities, go ahead. Ability-wise, the girl is a wooden post with legs. Look for her (or not) in The Aviator this weekend.

Did you know that they’re making Underworld 2? What the fuck kind of blow do they snort in Hollywood these days, because I fucking want some. Anything that makes a sequel to that shitfest seem like a good idea should be up my nose, helping me to endure the flick when it hits theaters.