[ Uh… Good Thing He Was Blind ] – Teacher (female) is going to jail for “raping” an 11-year-old blind boy.
Considering the super-hot piece of ass the last kid got, this poor guy kinda crapped out, with the exception of being blind. Which I guess is kind of a sick blessing, the blindness. Or maybe I’m the sick one, calling it a blessing. Hmmm… guess I’ll have to meditate on that one.
Shit, I’ve only got nine minutes before the store stops selling meditation juice. Which I need. …for the meditation.
Give it up for the mc whose voice is the highest
by Jester on August 12, 2004 @ 10:43 am
All of you should know who the fuck MC Chris is by now. We’re all geeks here, so I assume every here watches Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim lineup.
Have you seen the episode of Sealab with the rapper doing that song about Boba Fett? That’s MC Chris doing “Fett’s Vette.” Seen the Aqua Teen Hunger Force episodes with MC Pee Pants and Sir Loin? That’s MC Chris busting out the rhymes behind “I Want And Need Candy” and “Fo’ Tha Shorteez.”
The man makes being a geek seem cool. He rhymes about tripping on the ‘tussin, Star Wars, pop-punk, and all sorts of cool shit. His voice sounds like a ten-year-old, or so he’s been told. And his beats are heavy. You listen to “Evergreen” and you’d swear it wasn’t being recorded in a New York apartment. Go fucking download Life’s A Bitch and I’m Her Pimp and see how right I am. Right fucking now. Go on. It’s even fucking legal.
If you don’t know, you weren’t meant to
by Jester on August 11, 2004 @ 2:43 pm
Take your hot little hands and roll the mouse over to the Explosion‘s record label, Tarantulas Records. That is where you can buy their new disc, the Red Tape EP. Go to their website and take a listen to the EP before you buy it, if you want.
The Explosion is the best damn punk band playing right now. Their debut full-length, Flash Flash Flash, has been a regular visitor to my cd player since it came out. I saw them for the third and fourth times yesterday, and their new material is fucking amazing.
The Boston punk rockers have a new full-length coming out October 5 on Virgin Records called Black Tape. The Red Tape EP is a preview of the new disc, and it is completely and utterly worth your six bucks. Go buy it. Now.
Boobies = Advanced Civilization
by Sharkey on @ 12:57 pm
[ Rushdie Says ‘We Need Teh Pron’ ] – The man is also banging a chick 26 years his junior, so he knows what he’s talkin’ about.
1000 pound man loses 350 pounds
by Tzeen on @ 7:40 am
Fat man is now not as fat but still outweighs the average compact car
But the reason I posted this is this specific line from the article:
A group known as the League of Human Dignity helped arrange for Deuel to be driven to a local livestock scale, where he could be weighed.
Does anyone else see the irony in that?
League of Human DIGNITY.
Livestock scale.
‘Nuff said.
‘Scuse Me Ma’am, Can I Get Some Cream?
by Sharkey on August 9, 2004 @ 1:55 pm
[ Monday Morning Lactation Report ] – oddly enough, I’ve seen two mothers nursing in front of me in as many weeks. Never really bothered me, as it benefits the child and occasionally myself, but I can see how a lot of people might be grossed out. Read on:
SILVER SPRING, Md. — About 30 mothers gathered at a Starbucks Coffee shop to nurse their babies to lobby the coffee store chain to adopt a national policy permitting public breast-feeding.
I’d pop more in there, but I can’t copy/paste the text on the sidekick, so that’s all you get. Do the work yourselves, you illiterate bastards. The gist is that women don’t want to cover their babies’ heads when they nurse in public, nor do they want to feed them in the bathroom. I’ve never said no to seeing a breast, but I can definitely attest to the fact that there are some that we shouldn’t lay our mortal eyes on.
I can say this though: I’ve yet to meet a woman who wants to see moms have the right to nurse in public. Take that, women’s rights movement!
Adios Superfreak
by Sharkey on August 6, 2004 @ 2:30 pm
[ Rick James Dies In His Sleep ] – That sucks. I wonder if it’ll have any effect on the proposed movie. And no, I don’t want to hear any Chappelle’s Show quotes. Even Chappelle is tired of that shit. He’s probably not tired of the $50 million contract it netted him, though.
Chicka-Dee-Chyna
by Sharkey on @ 11:30 am
I apologize for the title of this post, but I heard that song the other day, and now you must suffer as well.
Hey, speaking of suffering, did you hear that the man-woman Chyna has now joined the ranks of the rich and famous with explicit sex tapes of themselves floating around. …yeah. Exciting.
True, this is the Enquirer (not to be confused with the Inquirer) but I usually tend to trust when third rate hollywood skanks supposedly have fucky sucky footage of themselves. Oops, I just happened to join a fledgeling trend and “accidentally” boosted my career by being a whore, which is oddly enough, my profession. Too bad it had to be a woman who could flex during sex and squish your junk with her labia like she was mashing a banana.
In the club
by Jester on August 5, 2004 @ 2:37 pm
When I was into drinking heavily (i.e., the past five years off and on until a month ago), I pretty much went to one bar- the Replay Lounge>. Fantastic place… cheap beer, good jukebox, interesting patrons, generously pouring bartenders… we all have our favorite watering hole.
However, the Replay, as well as its sister bar, the Jackpot Saloon, have recently begun making money on weekend nights by bringing in djs. This is not a new thing, as the Replay’s had various djs in over the years. These are not djs in the typical sense. They’re usually scenester types with a box of records who want to make an extra buck here and there.
This does present a trend that has become worrisome in recent years, though. Another club, the Hurricane, in Kansas City has been having bands play until midnight, at which point they then move in a dj mto spin records until the bar closes at 3am.
Now, I’m a live music sort of person. If I wanted to listen to somebody play records, I’d turn on the radio or, more likely, sit in front of the stereo and do it my own damn self. This is why I would like to give extra-special super-duper props to Jet. They’ve recently released their new single to radio, and it’s called “Roll Over DJ.” It spoke to me as I was driving home from the local clothing resale store. Lyrics like “I wanna move but I don’t feel right / ‘Cause you’ve been playing other peoples songs all night” simply hit the nail on the fucking head, as far as I’m concerned. Add in “Well I know that you think you’re the star / A pill poppin’ jukebox is all that you are” and you have some pleasantly biting commentary on why it sucks to be a live music lover and go out to a club.
I suppose I wouldn’t be so pissed if the clubs paid the djs themselves, but they charged a fucking cover to get in. Why in the fucking hell should I give someone five bucks to hear them play their damn music, when for that much money, I could get fifteen plays on the jukebox of music I want to hear?
Fitting Fare For Hawaii
by Sharkey on @ 10:50 am
[ Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About The Bikini ] – As long as they are jam-packed with girly bits, I don’t care where they came from. But this is still pretty neat, bunch o pictures as well.
The place were staying in is amazing. This guest house must be worth a million on its own. Pictures of the house and random hawaiian ass to follow.